Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

It took three employees to help me complete “self-checkout” yesterday.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Most of my shoulder workout comes from shrugging when people ask me questions.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Sheep to the left of me. Cows to the right. Here I am. Stuck on a bus with a view.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

I downloaded a meditation app. Now I’m stressed about missing sessions.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,336

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

It’s weird when you realize that what you thought was rock bottom was actually somewhere around rock middle.

Just shared via X:

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Going viral on Messenger:

Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

Making waves on Facebook:

One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Nothing is smaller than the X on ads to click them away.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Airlines when they need to change your flight: here’s a complimentary napkin. Airlines when you need to change your flight: that’ll be $8700.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Don’t interrupt me while I’m embarrassing myself.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Being completely ignored on Twitter is associated with higher IQ.

Trending via Facebook:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

Shared recently on Threads:

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

Funny opponent quotes

Funny opponent quotes bring a hilarious twist to competition 🎯😂 Whether you’re battling friends or rivals, these witty zingers add spice and laughter to every showdown 🤪🔥 Get ready to up your game with humor that scores big laughs and keeps the fun alive 😎💥 Perfect for sharing, roasting, or just brightening up any contest!

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Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Discord this month:

Being on Twitter right now is like playing the violin on the Titanic, except we are also making fun of the iceberg and the iceberg is getting genuinely mad.

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

To be gentle in this world is an act of rebellion.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

Some people are wise; some are otherwise.

67 shares on WeChat this month:

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Quitting my job to focus on watching YouTube.

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

They should let you spend one night in a house before you buy/rent it, just to make sure it’s haunted.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

Together, I can beat schizophrenia.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

A middle finger hits different when your nails are done.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Word on the street is that the fire in your heart is out.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t truly refer to yourself as an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes their layout.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,341

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

My kids think I’m going to miss them when they leave for college, but I’ll be busy drinking my coffee while it’s still hot.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

You know IT have given up when the error message reads, ‘Something went wrong’.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

I want to make you say, “Oh God,” in a way that makes God nervous.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

In university, you are either struggling academically, financially, emotionally, or all three.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

I forgot to get milk, so Santa has a cup of Pepsi Max.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Girl math is ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

You ever liked a song so much you restart it before it even finishes?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Funny thing about zombie movies – they never seem to go after the cameraman.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

Just shared via Twitch:

That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

Making waves on TikTok:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Trending via X:

Straight man stuns they/them by ordering in fluent woke.

Making waves on Reddit:

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

Just landed via YouTube:

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

Shared recently on Messenger:

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

Trending via X:

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

Just landed via Facebook:

Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.

Trending via X:

I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.

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