Commentary:
"When your house puts on its 'fake clean' costume for a play date! 🧹😅✨"
393 Funny parenting quotes
The best part of my kid graduating was unsubscribing from the school’s text messages.
Commentary:
🎓😂 "Finally graduated from the endless school spam! Declaring my phone officially valedictorian of freedom! 📱✌️"
Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.
Commentary:
"When the mango's juicier than your gossip… 🤫🥭😂"
The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.
Commentary:
"When you're outsmarted by your own snack stash… 🤦🏻♀️🍫🔍 #SnackNinjaFail"
The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.
Commentary:
"When you hear the full name, run for cover! 😂👟👶 #MiddleNameAlert #UhOh"
Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.
Commentary:
"Breaking news: Toddler parents officially know more about Peppa Pig than current events! Tune in next for the weather report from Paw Patrol! 🐷📰🤣"
I hate when kids scream in public. You don’t have real problems. It should be me screaming.
Commentary:
"Right?! If only adulting came with scream breaks. 🙃🎉😱"
A selfie only a mother could like.
Commentary:
"When even your phone tries to hide the evidence! 😂🤳📵"
I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.
Commentary:
"Modern parenting: test-driving kids like they're on a 30-day return policy 😂👶🔄"
Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.
Commentary:
"Just a casual reminder: I'm the original copyright holder. 🤓👶 #PatentPending"