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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Don’t mispronounce anything next to me and think I didn’t hear it.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I’m really looking forward to eight hours of thinking about sleep tonight.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Dating profiles should make you share a sound bite of you sneezing.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,348

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

According to a study, people believe anything that starts with ‘according to a study’.

Making waves on X:

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

Trending via LinkedIn:

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

Just shared via Facebook:

Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

Just shared via Facebook:

Awkwardly stares into the abyss in between meetings.

Shared recently on Reddit:

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

Breaking via X:

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

Just landed via X:

How can people lift weights? My arms get tired just by putting my hair up in a ponytail.

Trending via Threads:

The sheer audacity of life to ask anything of me today.

Funny pounds quotes

Funny pounds quotes are here to lighten your mood and add a sprinkle of humor to those extra digits on the scale! 😂 Whether you’re celebrating gains or just embracing the journey, these witty lines will have you laughing out loud while keeping it real. 🏋️‍♀️🍕 So, get ready to chuckle, smile, and maybe even rethink that next snack—because laughter is the best workout! 💪😄

New funny pounds quotes 👇

All funny pounds quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Telegram this month:

Transgender ambulance driver whose pronouns are we/you/we/you/we/you.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

53 shares on Discord this month:

And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

88 shares on YouTube this month:

My five-year plan is to get back my whimsy, joy, childlike wonder.

34 shares on Threads this month:

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

33 shares on Instagram this month:

Always remember you’re someone’s reason to smile. Because you’re a joke.

40 shares on X this month:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.

81 shares on Slack this month:

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey, you should start your own business and then mind it.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I heard you like bad girls. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I fear one day I’ll see one of my posts marked as an “Exhibit A”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

In my 20’s: might hit the club tonight. In my 40’s: might go to the grocery store to listen to some bangers.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,291

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Sorry, I can’t come over tonight. I’ve become too invested in these fictional characters and whether or not they will kiss.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

Trending via Snapchat:

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Common sense isn’t a gift. It’s a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

Shared recently on Threads:

Your first non-broke girlfriend will change your whole perspective about relationships.

Making waves on Facebook:

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

Breaking via Messenger:

So I just keep making dinner? Every night of my life? For forever?

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.

Spotted on TikTok:

I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Andrew Tate is what you’d get if Axe body spray gained consciousness.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

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