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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Am I the only one who wonders why the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

20 minutes ago

Users Online

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Guy inventing jogging: how can I suffer, but with music?

Broadcasted on YouTube:

A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’ll kill the vibe, so you don’t have to.

Reported on Threads:

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

Going viral on Telegram:

Welcome to middle age: your chin looks lonely; here’s another one.

Spotted on Threads:

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

Just landed via Reddit:

Money can’t buy happiness, until you’re on vacation and then you realize it definitely can.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Socks try to be monogamous but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

Just landed via Slack:

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

20 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Men look so amazing for people who use the same product for their teeth, hair, floor and car washing.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

You want me to pay attention to the details? The thing the devil is in?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Terrifying if true: Her eyes lighting up a room.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

If you’re going to walk in my shoes, please also wear my FitBit.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

Making waves on Pinterest:

It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.

Trending via LinkedIn:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Just shared via X:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Going viral on Twitch:

I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

Trending via Snapchat:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

Trending via X:

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Damn, girl, are you Black Friday? Because I’m wondering what your bloody deal is.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

Spotted on Reddit:

And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

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