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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Crossing things off my to-do list… I didn’t do them, I just don’t want them on my list anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Home is where you can look ugly and enjoy it.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Becoming an adult was the worst thing I’ve ever done.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

You may find my attraction to Goofy weird, but I don’t give a hyuck.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

Just landed via YouTube:

People thinking you’re dumb is one of the best advantages you can have.

Just shared via Twitch:

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

Spotted on Snapchat:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

Live now on Pinterest:

My favorite pastime is looking for meaning where there is none.

Trending via Messenger:

I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

Trending via Snapchat:

About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead.

Just landed via Reddit:

People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

Funny rough quotes

Funny rough quotes bring a hilarious twist to life’s wild moments 🤪🔥 Perfect for those who love a bit of sass with their truth, these quotes pack a punch while keeping you laughing 😂💥 Ready to embrace the rough edges with a smile? Let’s dive into some witty, no-nonsense humor that’s as bold as it is funny! 🎉😎

New funny rough quotes 👇

All funny rough quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Discord this month:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

68 shares on X this month:

A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

63 shares on Twitch this month:

One of the worst ways to waste your youth is by being insecure.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

Someone yelled “hey, retard!” and I looked back.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m sick of blessings in disguise. I am ready for a blessing with absolutely no disguise whatsoever.

96 shares on Slack this month:

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

60 shares on X this month:

Vibrators are wrong and unnatural. The Bible said Adam and Eve, not Florence and the Machine.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

48 shares on Threads this month:

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

That song stuck in my head is “Don’t Speak”; I have no doubt in my mind.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The walk of shame, except it’s me at a bowling alley walking back to sit down after I knock down zero pins with bumpers.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel bad for those that don’t enjoy their own company. I be having a ball by myself.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The greatest allies fascism and genocide have are the people who say, “I don’t follow the news, it’s too depressing.”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My wife’s resolution to yell at the kids less has just taken a very bad turn.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

WhatsApp shouldn’t just display “seen”, but also “lies” and “also writes with other girls”!

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right louder.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,454

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Females be naked so much online, I be like, damn, I bet she look good in a sweater.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

That one friend who has a dangerously loose grasp on food safety.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

It’s so unfair that saying “xd” is still socially acceptable, but only if you’re speaking Spanish.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Introducing WifeChat™, the app where you talk to your wife.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Is it just me, or were we promised a totally different frog-to-prince ratio?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Goodnight Outlook, goodnight Teams, goodnight Zoom.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Silk is a crazy material. “I like your shirt,” thanks. It came out of a bug.

Seen just now on Slack:

Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

Making waves on X:

I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.

Spotted on YouTube:

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

Just landed via Instagram:

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

Trending via Discord:

Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.

Trending via Discord:

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’m too tired to shower. Anyone want to wash my back?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

Seen just now on Slack:

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

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