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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Gonna start using “with all dude respect”.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

If I turned into a “teen wolf”, my first order of business would definitely be helping my basketball team get to the local championships.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Unpopular opinion: The moon is actually way more useful than the sun. Because the moon gives us light at night when it’s dark. The sun only gives us light during the day when it’s already bright.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

No more looking back in anger. It’s time to look forward in anger.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

You really have to enjoy the way a man is acting in the beginning, because you will never meet that man again.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Actually, you’re having a conversation with yourself. I’m just here so you don’t appear totally insane.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,311

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Turns out “YouTube rabbit hole” is not a reliable science degree.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Some people get it. Most people don’t.

Breaking via Messenger:

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

Live now on Instagram:

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Sometimes I think I should talk to my colleagues more often. Until I talk to my colleagues.

Shared recently on TikTok:

“And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.

Breaking via Slack:

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

Breaking via Instagram:

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

Just shared via Threads:

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

Seen just now on Facebook:

My son put his dish in the sink so I rushed him to urgent care.

Funny sabbatical quotes

Funny sabbatical quotes 😂 bring a splash of laughter to your well-deserved break! Whether you’re escaping emails 📧 or just pretending to adult 🧸, these witty sayings capture the joy and chaos of taking time off. Perfect for sharing with fellow sabbatical seekers 🌴 or brightening your own chill days. Get ready to laugh, relax, and embrace the art of doing absolutely nothing—because sabbaticals are serious fun! 🎉✨

New funny sabbatical quotes 👇

All funny sabbatical quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

45 shares on WeChat this month:

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

36 shares on WeChat this month:

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

25 shares on TikTok this month:

Maybe dogs are smarter than us because they found a way to get fed and housed without having to go to college and get a job.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

Asking people their favorite color and then calling them liars.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

Y’all scared to be single, I’m scared to be in another pointless relationship.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Pretending to be a well-adjusted, functioning adult is so exhausting.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m an over-explainer (I explain things too much).

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Tryna choke on gummy bears so my tombstone can read ‘killed by a bear’

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,721

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I always mean what I say, I don’t always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

It is a shame that nothing is built in America anymore. I just bought a TV that said: “Built in Antenna”. I don’t even know where that is.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

A job interview is basically a conversation between two liars.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

A little 9-5 with a little fraud on the side is the only way you gone survive in this world.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Christmas is a very special time when I give my brother a $100 gift card, and he gives me a $100 gift card.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

Trending via Twitch:

When I eat rotisserie chicken, I like to pretend that I’m performing an autopsy.

Seen just now on X:

Adulting is realizing Monday is a better ‘off day’ than Friday.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

Breaking via Instagram:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

Making waves on Threads:

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

Just landed via Threads:

Grocery carts should have barcode scanners on them so you can see how much you’re spending as you put things in your cart.

Making waves on Facebook:

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

Shared recently on X:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

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