Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Hello, hi. Don’t invite me anywhere until next year. The money is finished. Regards.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

It’s actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing, and so many people are still like, no thanks, the suffering is what makes it special.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Nothing says “not interested” quite like a Restraining Order.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m still tired from yesterday’s tired.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Welcome to Twitter: yeah, none of us can sleep either.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

You don’t have to be crazy to be friends with me. I also train people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

235 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,504

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,504

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,299

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Have to connect the printer to my new laptop, and my goal is to cry no more than three times.

Seen just now on Slack:

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

Trending via Discord:

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

Going bananas on WeChat:

They should invent a word for when you’re alive but not really living.

Freshly posted on X:

If she tells you, she’s got a man, keep trying. Loyal women don’t even reply.

Just landed via Twitch:

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I received a DM telling me that I’ve offended some of you. I’m truly sorry; I meant to offend all of you.

Breaking via Discord:

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

Shared recently on X:

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

Just shared via Reddit:

Nicknamed my iPhone Lois Lane because it doesn’t recognize me without my glasses on either.

Funny Santa Claus quotes

Funny Santa Claus quotes add a playful twist to the jolly old man of Christmas. 🎅😄 From witty remarks about his North Pole antics to humorous takes on holiday cheer, these quotes celebrate the lighter side of Santa’s merry adventures. Enjoy a laugh and embrace the fun of the season with Santa Claus! 😂🎄

New funny Santa Claus quotes 👇

All funny Santa Claus quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Twitch this month:

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

78 shares on Twitch this month:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

There’s endless songs out there about love and pain and life, but basically only one about the wheels on the bus. Just goes to show you they nailed it the first try.

53 shares on X this month:

They’re bluffing when they say you can still get knocked off the nice list this late in the game. Santa’s been delivering gifts in Japan for hours by now; that list is locked. Do whatever you want.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

I think when girls start liking pink again, it means they’re healing.

71 shares on Threads this month:

Lowkey wanna fall in love, but Monday to Friday is work, Saturday is laundry, Sunday is mental prep for Monday. The butterflies in my stomach are actually decomposing.

84 shares on Slack this month:

Having a crush as an adult is soooo embarrassing. I’m literally too old for this. I’m gonna learn how to forge a sword.

89 shares on Threads this month:

I need an Apple Watch that tracks when my patience runs out.

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

42 shares on WeChat this month:

I like driving by myself. I just played the same song 36 times.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been in a bad mood since like 2010.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Instagram is run by celebrities. Twitter is run by the streets.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s really important to stay hydrated at work, so you can take as many 10-minute-long bathroom breaks as possible.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Printers and computers treat each other like they broke up the night before, and you’re their mutual friend.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is so boring when you don’t have a package on the way.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

235 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,504

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,504

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,235

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

I’ve saved every episode of Hoarders.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

I don’t understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What’s next, more things? That’s how they get you.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Job interviewer: “Where do you see yourself in 5 years’ time?” Me: “My greatest strength is that I’m a good listener.”

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Worst thing about cutting off all your hair is you go to work and everyone treats you like Today’s Special Boy.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Are you bad wifi, cause im feeling no connection here.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Going bananas on Discord:

Being informed is the worst thing I’ve ever done for my mental health.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

Live now on Slack:

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Being smart is a curse. You see the game, the lies, the patterns, but you still gotta play dumb to survive.

Breaking via X:

Drilling for oil is well boring.

Just shared via Slack:

I’d rather throw everything I own in the trash than try to deal with people on Facebook Marketplace.

Live now on Facebook:

364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.

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