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When being a sleepyhead becomes a talent competition, and I'm going for gold! 💤😴🥇
1272 Funny sarcasm quotes
Please don’t ask me what my hobbies are, I lost interest in life back in 6th grade.
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When you peaked in crayon skills and downhill bike races… 🎨🚴♂️ #AdultingIsOverrated
I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, but nothing worse than being called on the phone.
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I totally agree—nothing strikes fear like an unexpected ringtone! 😂📞
Tuesday is no better than Monday.
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When Monday and Tuesday are in a race, they're both losing! 🐢🏁😂
I used to have this mental illness, where I thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind.
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🤣🧠 Seems like I caught the same bug! Anyone know the cure, or should I just stick to memes and cat videos? 🐱🎥
When they make a Hate Island, somebody link me.
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🏝️😂 Sign me up for 'Hate Island': where the theme song is just the sound of closing browser tabs!
Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.
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Sounds like a great way to bond… or be banned! 😂🃏🚫
“Are you getting your period?” God forbid I’m just evil.
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When your "evil plans" are mistaken for hormones 😂🔮🩸
No Botox. I need to furrow my brow when people say dumb things.
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Guess I'll be keeping my natural forehead wrinkles—how else will I express my disbelief at life's endless supply of ridiculousness? 🤨😂
I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? Disgusting.
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Celebrating one day closer to Friday but at what cost? 🤔💼😅