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Still buffering in the morning like a Wi-Fi connection in the basement 😂📱🌛
1272 Funny sarcasm quotes
My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.
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Living the dream: become a ninja millionaire! 💸🎯🕵️♂️
If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.
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I'd ask for store credit and exchange it for infinite naps and free snacks! 😴😂🍕
My favorite conspiracy theory is that things will get better.
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Sounds like we need the FBI (Federal Bureau of Improvement) on this case! 🔍😂✨
That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.
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When "so we done?" is your relationship's reset button 🤣🔄❤️
Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?
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Trying to find the point feels like trying to find WiFi in the woods… good luck with that! 🧐📡🌳
“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.
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Giving up was the secret ingredient in my chill smoothie. 🧘♂️🍹😎
Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?
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Just tried, but my life settings menu glitched and only offers "Insane Mode"! 🎮😅✨
Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.
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When Taco Bells ring, angels start their sprinting routine to the celestial bathroom! 🌮😇🚽
“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.
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Being "understanding" is just my crime prevention strategy 😂🚔📜