Commentary:
"Who needs 'Sex with your ex' when you can have a bestseller? Take a page out of the history books instead of re-reading old chapters 😉📚 #MovingOnUp"
118 Funny sex quotes
Sex in the snow is wintercourse.
Commentary:
"Looks like someone's taking 'chilling out' to a whole new level! ❄️😜 Who knew snow could be so steamy! 🔥❄️ #WinterCourseGoals"
Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.
Commentary:
Oh, so vaping is like the ultimate cockblocker for onlookers, huh? 😂🚭 Nothing like a cloud of vapor to spice up the atmosphere, or kill the mood, depending on who you ask! 💨🚫 So, watch out vapers, you might inadvertently be saving yourself from unwanted advances! 😅 #VapeAndChill
Biblical loophole: It’s not premarital sex if you never intend to get married.
Commentary:
"Ah, the classic biblical loophole – taking 'til death do us part' to a whole new level! 😂 Who knew the key to avoiding premarital sex was just never planning on getting married in the first place? 😜 #LifeHacks"
Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.
Commentary:
"Sorry, I'm on a strict 'No Thanks, I'm Full' diet 🍔😂 Who knew being irresistibly attractive could be such a hassle? #ThickThighsSaveLives"
I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.
Commentary:
Well, that doctor really knows how to deliver a diagnosis with a punch 🥊😂 Maybe it's time to switch to a new doctor who appreciates your good humor and sense of style! 💁♂️💕
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.
Commentary:
"Who needs love handles when you've got snacks to hold on to? 🍔🍟 Looks like this is a case of sacrificing intimacy for instant noodles. 🍜🤷♂️ Embracing the foodie life, one bite at a time… even if it means struggling with zippers. 👖😂 #FoodieProblems"
If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.
Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old dilemma: should you make your own sandwich or have someone else do it for you? 🥪 Turns out, the same applies to other areas of life too! 😏 Just remember to use fresh ingredients in both cases 😉🔥"
Why do men always think “looking for fun” means sex? Wat if I want us to draw?
Commentary:
"Maybe they need to rethink their definition of fun 🎨 Drawing can lead to great masterpieces and deep conversations… and it won't leave you with any awkward paint stains 😉 #ArtOverRomance"
My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.
Commentary:
"Looks like I've finally found someone who can multitask without even trying! 🤣💦 #Skills"