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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Welcome to your parents’ house, where the wifi password is fEtbqP2LVp3U6Hkh

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

You only live once and thank God for that.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

827 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,989

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,989

Updated

26 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

Breaking via Snapchat:

British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

Seen just now on Facebook:

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

Trending via Threads:

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug, but you’re not gonna like the performance.

Breaking via Twitch:

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

Reported on Slack:

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

Spotted on Reddit:

You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m not addicted to Twitter. I’m just a really good listener so I want to know what everyone has to say.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

827 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,989

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,989

Updated

26 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

The older I get, the more I lose my looks. But I’m also losing my eyesight, so it’s not my problem.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

That moment when you’ve gone through Insta, Facebook, X and the new emails and you know you should start working now. Luckily, there’s YouTube.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. It’s like I’m going to Club Pee Pee.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I hope the world needs to be saved from the apocalypse with video game skills so my teen’s entire life won’t have been a complete waste.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

Shared recently on Messenger:

I have one of those metal briefcases handcuffed to my wrist, and inside… my grandmother’s meatloaf recipe.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

There’s nothing worse than being in public and you touch something that shouldn’t be sticky and it is.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’m so hungry, I could eat a full-time job with health insurance.

Breaking via Twitch:

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

Shared recently on Facebook:

The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place.

Just landed via YouTube:

The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

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