235 funny shopping quotes - Page 5 - Wordgag

Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again. The fashion industry: No.

May 22, 2026

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

May 22, 2026

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

May 22, 2026

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

May 22, 2026

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

May 22, 2026

By the time my CVS receipt finished printing, I was eligible for another prescription refill.

May 22, 2026

At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

May 22, 2026

You ever notice how when you get home from food shopping, the kids turn into airport security?

May 22, 2026

They should invent a self-checkout where someone else scans the items and puts them in a bag.

May 22, 2026

Rapunzel, let down your CVS receipt!

May 22, 2026

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

May 22, 2026

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

May 22, 2026

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

May 22, 2026

Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

May 22, 2026

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

May 22, 2026

Cashier: Did you find everything? Me: Did you hide something?

May 22, 2026

I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

May 22, 2026

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

May 21, 2026

Is it just me or does everything cost like we’re shopping in an airport now?

May 21, 2026

I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.

May 21, 2026

“I bought this while depressed” should be an acceptable reason to get a full refund on a return.

May 21, 2026

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

May 21, 2026

“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

May 21, 2026

Haunted house idea: a poorly lit Walmart littered with people you haven’t seen since high school.

May 21, 2026

A woman’s G-spot can be found at the end of the word shopping.

May 21, 2026

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

May 21, 2026

Everytime I spend $20 I think this is fine because I won’t do it again. And then would you believe.

May 21, 2026

How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

May 21, 2026

Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’.

May 21, 2026

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

May 21, 2026

I have three full closets of nothing to wear.

May 21, 2026

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

May 21, 2026

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

May 21, 2026

By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

May 21, 2026

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

May 21, 2026

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

May 21, 2026

Home is where you’ve left the shopping list.

May 21, 2026

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

May 21, 2026

I didn’t buy that thing I wanted but didn’t need, so I celebrated by buying a different thing I wanted but didn’t need.

May 21, 2026

Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

May 21, 2026