235 funny shopping quotes - Page 6 - Wordgag

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

May 21, 2026

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

May 20, 2026

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

May 20, 2026

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

May 20, 2026

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

May 20, 2026

I didn’t go to the Carribean, my tan is from standing in front of the rotisserie chicken at Costco.

May 20, 2026

This is my emotional support online shopping cart.

May 20, 2026

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

May 20, 2026

The easiest way to shop with kids is not to.

May 20, 2026

There are two types of people in the world, those who have to go to Walmart, and those who get to go to Walmart.

May 20, 2026

They don’t put cars in malls anymore, like they used to.

May 20, 2026

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

May 20, 2026

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

May 20, 2026

That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.

May 20, 2026

Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I’m like… I went shopping.

May 20, 2026

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.

May 20, 2026

If you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.

May 20, 2026

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

May 20, 2026

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

May 20, 2026

Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.

May 20, 2026

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

May 20, 2026

My problem is I buy outfits I don’t have shoes for and shoes I don’t have outfits for.

May 20, 2026

Waiting in the grocery store parking lot for the rotisserie chickens to be ready. The thrill of the hunt.

May 19, 2026

Fruit and vegetables expire faster when you’re the one paying for them.

May 19, 2026

We really do need a separate grocery store for people who’ve been on Earth before.

May 19, 2026

Sometimes I do this fun little thing, where I take the time to write a grocery list, and then I forget it at home.

May 19, 2026

It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

May 19, 2026

I want someone to look at me the way I look at a travel booking website.

May 19, 2026

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

May 19, 2026

I can’t wait to buy Chanel bags on a random Tuesday for me and my friends.

May 19, 2026

Some people buy shoes to feel alive. I buy boarding passes.

May 19, 2026

August is almost over. September is next week. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.

May 19, 2026

Oh, to be a rich, beautiful woman in her big car, driving to buy overpriced groceries to stock up her breathtaking kitchen in her gorgeous house.

May 19, 2026

The worst part of coming out of a hyperfixation is sobering up and looking at all the merch you bought that you didn’t need.

May 19, 2026

At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

May 19, 2026