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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not so sure anymore.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

I have re-entered the Band of Brothers rewatch stage of male depression.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Cashier: Did you find everything? Me: Did you hide something?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,371

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

Today’s politics make me think we’re living in a movie where the villains actually win.

Spotted on Threads:

Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

Going viral on Facebook:

Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.

Just landed via TikTok:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.

Live now on Threads:

If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Social media is proof that even mental hospitals have WiFi.

Funny shots quotes

New funny shots quotes 👇

It’s funny how drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 7 beers and 5 shots in two hours go down like a fat kid on a seesaw.

0

3 days ago

5, 8, alcohol, beer, beers, comparison, day, drinking, drinking water, fat, Funny, funny comparison, hours, humor, impossible, impossible task, kid, seems, seesaw, shot, shots, task, water

Fresh post – no country stats yet.

Social activity data coming soon…
Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

0

2 months ago

care, child, funny situation, getting, health, health care, humor, immunizations, inappropriate, office, parenting, pediatrician, shots, situation, yell

Someone from 🇩🇯 has recently bookmarked this quote.

20 shares on Messenger this month.

All funny shots quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t that thing I’ve been ignoring until it became a giant problem.

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I love being a girly girl and going to sleep all moisturized, juicy, and soft. Lip balm on. Layering on scents just to beauty rest.

62 shares on X this month:

The worst part of a fender bender is having to get out of your car and meet a new person.

24 shares on Slack this month:

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

91 shares on X this month:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

36 shares on Facebook this month:

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

You can get addicted to a certain kind of swagness.

41 shares on Instagram this month:

Me, on New Year’s Eve: I think instead of kissing at midnight, I’m just going to go outside and scream.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I love when men remind me I’m evil because sometimes I be thinking I’m losing my spark.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

If you’re going to walk in my shoes, please also wear my FitBit.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Hi, where do you meet someone without dating apps and if you never leave your apartment? I need tips, please. Urgently!

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Tried a smile yesterday and my white blood cells attacked it.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I never sit around waiting for anyone except for the pizza delivery guy.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

Just landed via X:

Life is so draining, you fix one problem, here come 12 more.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.

Just shared via X:

Called in telepathically this morning, so they know I’m thinking of them.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Introducing WifeChat™, the app where you talk to your wife.

Making waves on Facebook:

Behind every great tweet is a person rolling their eyes.

Making waves on TikTok:

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

Going bananas on Reddit:

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny shots quotes

New funny shots quotes 👇

It’s funny how drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 7 beers and 5 shots in two hours go down like a fat kid on a seesaw.

Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

All funny shots quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨