Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

A perfect metaphor for my life would be “Someone trying to stand up in a hammock.”

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

I hate that I present as an independent woman who doesn’t need any help. It’s a facade. Help me.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

When did making sense stop making sense?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

My big 3? Yapping, napping & snacking!

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

The fine art of sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Sharks are orcs, dolphins are elves.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Who else writes “etc.” knowing damn well you don’t have more examples?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,358

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Pinterest:

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

Going viral on WeChat:

God, please, for once in my life, let me get what I want.

Broadcasted on Discord:

11 out of 10 women are always right.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.

Trending via Telegram:

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

Shared recently on Telegram:

At this point of my celibacy, I can see the same colors as mantis shrimp. What do you know about blorange and gurple?

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

Just shared via Snapchat:

My phone and it’s charger are in a situationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

Funny shots quotes

New funny shots quotes 👇

Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

1 week ago

care, child, funny situation, getting, health, health care, humor, immunizations, inappropriate, office, parenting, pediatrician, shots, situation, yell
It’s funny how drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 7 beers and 5 shots in two hours go down like a fat kid on a seesaw.

4 weeks ago

5, 8, alcohol, beer, beers, comparison, day, drinking, drinking water, fat, Funny, funny comparison, hours, humor, impossible, impossible task, kid, seems, seesaw, shot, shots, task, water

All funny shots quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

90 shares on X this month:

People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

65 shares on Discord this month:

The sexual tension between me and disappearing without an explanation.

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If A-B-C-D didn’t take their sweet time in the alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to sprint every time.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you see me in public, it’s AI.

67 shares on Twitch this month:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

56 shares on Twitch this month:

Word on the street is that the fire in your heart is out.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Since it’s impossible to know which period of my life is the middle, I’ve decided to have an ongoing crisis.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I don’t care if I’m standing in the window, if I said I ain’t home, I ain’t home.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

You live in a great city when you get pooped on by a seagull instead of a pigeon.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Not a gold digger, but the other night a woman told me her grandpa owns a Christmas tree farm. That shit had me rubbing my hands like a fly.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Just seen a guy with a Coca-Cola and yellow Lay’s chips. Classic combo, he knows his stuff.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Half princess, half menace.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

Going viral on Slack:

Maybe if I spend another day alone in my room then something life-changing will suddenly happen to me!?

Just landed via Discord:

If sex was real, I think I would’ve had it by now.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Me leaving the house: I hope I don’t see anyone.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny shots quotes

New funny shots quotes 👇

Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

It’s funny how drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 7 beers and 5 shots in two hours go down like a fat kid on a seesaw.

All funny shots quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨