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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

For someone who is afraid of failure, I’m very unmotivated.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

As a Dad, you always want your kids to be prepared for real life, that’s why trolling them is so vital.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

If anything I post makes you mad, just know that it pleases me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,451

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

Going viral on WeChat:

What a strange day. And it has been for years.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

Just landed via X:

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

Just shared via TikTok:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Just landed via Discord:

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

Reported on WhatsApp:

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Every homemade dinner counts as negative calories because of the exercise we get waving pillows at the smoke detectors.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Just landed via X:

God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

Trending via Slack:

“You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

Making waves on X:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Just landed via WeChat:

You only live once and thank God for that.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Going viral on Threads:

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

Shared recently on Threads:

Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

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