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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Twerk unto others as you would have them twerk unto you.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

A car window made specifically for a dog to stick its head out of is called a sunwoof.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

It’s weird when you realize that what you thought was rock bottom was actually somewhere around rock middle.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

771 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,933

Funny Quotes Topics

13,906

Funny Quotes Images

10,933

Updated

8 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

Going viral on Twitch:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Just shared via Discord:

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

Making waves on Snapchat:

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

Going viral on Reddit:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

Just shared via Threads:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Spotted on Telegram:

Every day, a new coworker asks if you’ve used ChatGPT, and the conversation doesn’t end if you say “No.”

Spotted on Instagram:

The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

771 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,933

Funny Quotes Topics

13,906

Funny Quotes Images

10,933

Updated

8 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Kinda in the mood to let my feelings impair my judgement.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

Reported on Telegram:

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Oh, that’s nothing a sudden burst of completely disproportionate rage won’t solve.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

Just landed via Twitch:

“I don’t care!”, he posted, again.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

Trending via Facebook:

Self-awareness is such a two-edged sword. Like, yay, I know myself better, but at what cost?

Just landed via Telegram:

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

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