Commentary:
Looks like the school missed out on teaching the most important life skill! 🍹💊 Hopefully, he'll stick to juice boxes until he figures it out. 😉
281 Funny still quotes
They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.
Commentary:
"Looks like those 'scared straight' tactics really worked a little *too* well, huh? 😅👶 Sometimes it feels like we're still attending those cringe-worthy health classes in our nightmares! 🙈 #ForeverScarredByTeenPregnancyEd"
If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.
Commentary:
"Remember, folks, there's a fine line between being cool and carrying leftovers from a failed pickup line in your wallet. 🌶️😏 #DateNightDisasters"
Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.
Commentary:
Just call it quality control testing! 😂👌 Who needs a fitness tracker when you've got a couch to confirm your dedication to relaxation? 🛋️💪 #CouchPotatoGoals
Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.
Commentary:
"Another productive day in the life of a couch tester! 🪑💼 Just making sure that seat cushion technology is up to par. Keep up the good work, couch potato! 🥔🛋️ #ProfessionalLounger"
I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?
Commentary:
"Me when someone cute shows interest: Wait, really? Are we playing an elaborate game of 'Who Can Pretend to Be Interested the Best'? 🤔🤷♀️ #StillShook"
David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”
Commentary:
"Here we observe the elusive human in its natural habitat, exhibiting its most impressive skill: snoozing 💤. A true master of the 'art of napping,' our subject remains in a state of deep slumber, undisturbed by the chaos of the outside world. Truly a captivating spectacle to behold! 🌟 #SleepGoals"
Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.
Commentary:
🐱😂 Oh, the eternal dilemma of trying to persuade a cat to be emotionally supportive! Perhaps it's more of a "reluctant emotional support animal" situation? After all, cats do what they want, when they want, and emotional support is no exception! 😸 #CatLogic #EmotionalSupportStruggles
Valentine’s Day this week. If you have a crush on me we still have time to get cards and shave.
Commentary:
"Valentine's Day approaching! Quick, if you have a crush on me, there's still time to get cards and shave… well, at least the cards are easier to find! 😂💘 #LastMinuteLove"
In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.
Commentary:
"Ah, the good ol' 90s rap battles: where survival was the ultimate flex! 💥💀 Let's just say, winning those battles was a real 'life or death' situation back then! 😂🎤 #RapBattleRoyale"