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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

If you have a Roomba, but don’t dress it up in little outfits, then what are you even doing?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

I now have Taylor Swift as my alarm. Now I always wake up five minutes earlier so I don’t have to listen to it.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I’m not drunk enough for this Teams meeting.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I do not support all women. Some of you are very mean for no reason.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,750

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.

Just landed via Facebook:

The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

Spotted on Instagram:

Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

Just landed via YouTube:

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I did not spend years turning the faucet off while I brushed my teeth, so corporations could ruin the environment with festering AI slop.

Just shared via X:

The moon is literally dragging the oceans around, and you think your body shouldn’t feel it?

Just shared via TikTok:

I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

Going viral on Telegram:

Unpopular activity: minding your own business.

Funny stove quotes

Funny stove quotes🔥🍳 bring a sizzling mix of humor and warmth to your kitchen vibes! Whether you’re a master chef or a microwave magician, these witty sayings will have you chuckling while you cook. Ready to turn up the heat on your mood? Let’s stir up some laughter and spice things up with the funniest stove-inspired lines ever! 😄🔥 #KitchenComedy #StoveLaughs

New funny stove quotes 👇

All funny stove quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.

24 shares on Telegram this month:

You cannot go outside for a year or two. Come back, and the same people still be outside in the same places.

14 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t always have time to fold laundry, but when I do, I don’t.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

Studies show that people with high IQs tend to be lazy, or something like that. I didn’t read the whole article.

65 shares on WeChat this month:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

13 shares on Slack this month:

Being a dinosaur sounds kinda nice. No bills, no work, just extinct.

22 shares on Threads this month:

It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down and you don’t know whether to tell them or not.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

“You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Grandmas be like: Imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time you give someone the benefit, they deliver the doubt.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,610

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Do people exist who manage to wash, dry, fold, and put away their laundry in the same day?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

The next James Bond should be weird. Like he wears a train conductor’s hat and is afraid of balloons.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

90% of parenting is wondering when you can lie down again.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m really into writing short fiction, mainly to-do lists.

Just shared via Snapchat:

In my 20s: Jingle all the way. In my 40s: Jingle til around ten.

Going viral on Discord:

Me: trying to rest. Earthquake: Let’s make that a no.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Not many things sadder than an untickled fancy.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The first 7 days of the week aren’t for me.

Seen just now on Slack:

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

Breaking via Messenger:

Forgot how fun it is to post IG stories. I feel like a female filmmaker.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

Making waves on Discord:

Dear music, thanks!

Making waves on Messenger:

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

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