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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I’m at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right. Have fun.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

God invented war so that Americans can learn geography.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Sometimes you choose the GIF-war over your responsibilities.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,700

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

“I’m a very sleepy person, just at all the wrong times.”

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Reverse cowgirl, so we can both address the elephant in the room.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

Trending via Instagram:

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

Making waves on X:

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

Going viral on TikTok:

I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

Funny strip club quotes

Funny strip club quotes bring the wild vibes and cheeky laughs you didn’t know you needed! 🍸💃 Whether you’re celebrating a night out or just love a good pun, these hilarious one-liners will have you cracking up faster than a dance floor showdown. 😆✨ Get ready for some sassy, playful, and downright entertaining moments that capture the fun and flair of the strip club scene! 🍾🔥

New funny strip club quotes 👇

All funny strip club quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Slack this month:

A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

27 shares on Facebook this month:

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

41 shares on Slack this month:

Before you send that email, ask yourself: is this a December problem or a January problem?

68 shares on Telegram this month:

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

27 shares on X this month:

Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

Having a sunburn is so humiliating. Now everyone knows I was unprepared for the realities of the wilderness. It marks me as the weakest link. The hungry animals are closing in.

100 shares on Threads this month:

I think one of my biggest hangups in getting better at Spanish is that speaking with the correct accent makes me feel racist.

53 shares on X this month:

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

20 shares on Facebook this month:

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

40 shares on X this month:

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Born to hate people. Somehow ended up in customer service.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

You learn a lot about someone when you marry them. For example, I learned I should have married someone else.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,476

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

That one unemployed roommate who gets a package every day.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

I only buy cookware with the handles that somehow get hotter than the pot itself.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Turns out “YouTube rabbit hole” is not a reliable science degree.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Books are so cool because there are no bloody ads in them.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

No one trashes your name better than the person who is terrified that you are going to tell people the truth.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Reverse cowgirl, so we can both address the elephant in the room.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

I’m never more unattractive than when a bee flies in my face.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

We used to burn CDs like we were running an underground record label.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

Seen just now on Messenger:

God ate when he created sleep, what a beautiful concept.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’m going to hell in every religion.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Windmill? Big fan.

Going viral on TikTok:

What substance do I have to abuse to stop yearning?

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Threw my back out due to overwhelming sensuality again.

Just landed via Telegram:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

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