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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

If Stranger Things was British, it would be called ‘Bit odd, innit?’

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Still waiting for aliens to abduct me, which feels pretty rude considering I’ve been dressed and ready for years.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

I think it’s very sexy of me to still move with love in a world like this.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,033

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I feel like I’ve skipped the whole ‘go out and have fun’ stage and went straight to being an 80-year-old woman.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

“You never text back.” No, I be reading texts from the notification bar, then forget to text back.

Trending via Reddit:

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

A storm knows it’s laced with destruction, and yet it rages on.

Just shared via TikTok:

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

Making waves on Facebook:

Sat at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green, if you’re wondering how I’m doing today.

Just shared via Messenger:

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Live now on WeChat:

I get at least 1,000 steps in waiting for my food to be done in the microwave.

Just landed via Instagram:

I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

Home » Funny Surprise Quotes » Page 21

204 Funny surprise quotes

More funny surprise quotes 👇

When I moved into my new igloo, my friends threw me a surprise housewarming party. Now I’m homeless.

0

5 months ago

friend, friends, homeless, homelessness, housewarming, housewarming party, humor, i, igloo, joke, me, moved, moving, new, party, surprise, surprise party
I can’t wait to open my phone tomorrow and find out what we’re mad about next.

0

5 months ago

anger, daily, daily life, expectation, frustration, humor, i, life, mad, media, next, open, phone, social, social media, surprise, tomorrow, wait
Seeing a BBL in real life is a reality-altering experience.

0

5 months ago

BBL, body, body modification, cosmetic, cosmetic surgery, experience, humor, life, modification, real, reality, seeing, surgery, surprise
There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

0

5 months ago

before, diet, food, foods, health, humor, never, nutrition, protein, science, surprise

For even more funny surprise quotes, hit next 👇

All funny surprise quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Instagram this month:

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry, I can’t today. I have to sit in my room and make matters worse.

54 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What’s next, more things? That’s how they get you.

50 shares on TikTok this month:

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

26 shares on YouTube this month:

One of the main reasons to drink tea is because you can say, ‘Let me put the kettle on,’ and stuff like that.

35 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

I just refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good to watch.

98 shares on Instagram this month:

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

88 shares on Threads this month:

Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

In retrospect, I guess “one drunken night of stupidity” isn’t the best response when a child asks you where babies come from.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Do people who spend a fortune on outdoor heating know they can just go inside?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

So grateful for pillows. My head works hard, it deserves its own bed.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

I used to mix Mountain Dew with the cheapest vodka I could find, and I called it the Blood of Mannaroth because it’s green and turns you into an orc.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Most men will receive their first bunch of flowers at their funeral.

Spotted on Facebook:

A cheat code to adulting is to always have something to look forward to, no matter how small or big.

Just shared via Threads:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally go to touch them, and they will let you.

Just landed via Slack:

First rule of cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. Never!

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

Spotted on YouTube:

Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

Making waves on WeChat:

All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

In my 20’s: I want to find true love. In my 40’s: I just want a toaster that gets me.

Shared recently on X:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I will eventually be able to get back in the bed.

Live now on Messenger:

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

204 Funny surprise quotes

More funny surprise quotes 👇

When I moved into my new igloo, my friends threw me a surprise housewarming party. Now I’m homeless.

I can’t wait to open my phone tomorrow and find out what we’re mad about next.

Seeing a BBL in real life is a reality-altering experience.

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

All funny surprise quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨