Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Do the people who make chairs know what humans look like, or nah?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

If you’re a guy and you’re struggling right now, just remember nobody cares, and it does get worse.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Once married, the woman takes over the entire closet and the man stores everything he owns in his left cargo pocket.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,290

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Deleted old Tweets just in case I date a very famous woman with rabid fans.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

Spotted on Twitch:

The fact Head and Shoulders doesn’t have a body wash called Knees and Toes, is disappointing.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.

Just shared via WeChat:

Perhaps an evening in the meditation cage will soothe you.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

Going viral on TikTok:

Good news, I just decided I don’t care about anything anymore.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.

Funny trainer quotes

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New funny trainer quotes 👇

All funny trainer quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on X this month:

In Hell, “Cotton Eye Joe” plays on an eternal loop. The heat and fire are actually pleasant compared to that.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you can’t wow them with wisdom, baffle them with bullshit.

39 shares on Twitch this month:

Vegans will look you dead in the eye and tell you cauliflower tastes like ribs.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

They’re releasing another “Jurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

22 shares on Threads this month:

Don’t feel bad if you don’t succeed on your first try. It took Michael Angelo sixteen chapels.

24 shares on Discord this month:

If someone steals your joke, you have to file a LOLsuit.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

What did people do before eyeglasses, like half the world just walked around not being able to see?

31 shares on Threads this month:

Divorce is so weird. Why do I have an ex-aunt?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought putting your heart and soul into a relationship would make it work.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I only squeak when I’m squoken to.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Scrolling should count as cardio.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,625

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

You haven’t experienced proper anger until you have a sister.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

There’s no-one who can get more drunk on power than the admin of a village Facebook group.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Winnie the Pooh had the right idea in this goddam heat. Crop top with his honey pot facing the world.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

People who play golf don’t concern me nearly as much as the people who watch it.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I’ve watched porn with better writing than Stranger Things.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Hair is washed. I am finally lovable and capable of loving again.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I do not know how to put this gently, but part of being a good driver is using the gas and brake as little as humanly possible.

Just shared via Discord:

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Shared recently on X:

Imagine a refund on all the money you spent on alcohol.

Going viral on Facebook:

I didn’t go to the Carribean, my tan is from standing in front of the rotisserie chicken at Costco.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

Breaking via Twitch:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

Making waves on TikTok:

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

Making waves on Discord:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

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