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Is there a time thief hiding in my couch, or did I just discover teleportation to bedtime? 🛋️⏰😴
640 Funny work quotes
“What do you do for a living?” I do my best.
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Living my best life… one mediocre decision at a time! 😂👌✨
Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.
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Sounds like you've found the secret to job security! 🍻🤔🤣
Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?
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Sounds like your career is playing hard to get. Time to send it a "we need to talk" text! 😅📞💼
Coolest part about starting a new job is the immunity to disease you get for 3 months till you get sick days.
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Who knew that "new job immunity" was the latest health trend? Where's my cape and superpowers? 🦸♂️💼😅
I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?
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Finding out it wasn’t your fault at work feels like discovering a hidden chocolate stash when you thought you were on a diet 🍫😆🎉
Sometimes I watch people do their jobs, and I’m like, damn, you might benefit from a little imposter syndrome, actually.
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Taking notes for the next office meeting: 1) Develop imposter syndrome, 2) Teach a masterclass on "How Not to Do Your Job" 😂📋💼
AI could never steal company time the way I do.
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That's because AI takes breaks faster than a coffee machine on Fridays! ☕🤖
The first thing you need to know about social media is that everyone’s on vacation, except for you.
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Looks like I missed the memo and the margarita! 🍹🏖️ Guess I'm stuck here holding down the fort. 🏢😅
Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.
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Turning every work email into a game of "Not It!" 😜📧🙅♂️