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Commentary:
"Who would have thought that eagerly anticipating bedtime would be a highlight of adulthood? 🛏️💤 It's like being a kid again, just with more responsibilities and less energy! 😂 #AdultingProblems"

adulthood, adulting, bed, changes, different, excited, excitement, getting, humor, level, life, life changes, responsibility, sleep

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

America was more fun when organized crime was done by Italians in Chicago.

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7 hours ago

America, Chicago, crime, done, fun, gangster, humor, italian, nostalgia, organized, organized crime
You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

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2 months ago

commentary, eat, encouragement, food, humor, rich, satire, social, social commentary
“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

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2 months ago

humor, i, irony, life, misunderstanding, prison, relationship, rest, sarcasm, understanding, want, witty
Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

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2 months ago

diamond, humor, idea, love, relationship, romantic, setting
Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

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5 months ago

due, eat, eating, floor, food, humor, inflation, joke, seconds, time
The world contains protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons.

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2 months ago

chemistry, electron, electrons, humor, joke, moron, neutron, neutrons, proton, protons, science, world

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

46 shares on Twitch this month:

I hate managing money, I was born to splurge.

31 shares on Messenger this month:

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

No, I wasn’t dancing. I got harassed by a bumble bee.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

68 shares on Instagram this month:

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

66 shares on TikTok this month:

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

21 shares on Discord this month:

The ways printers are like kids: Need feeding, are noisy and can’t function when offline.

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Life is too short. Tell his mom what he did to you.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Every guy wants to be called Daddy till that test comes back positive.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

Making waves on Threads:

First they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Welcome to your 40s, the best part of your day is now the heated seats in your car after a long day.

Just shared via Reddit:

If we’ve got the technology to make heated car seats, then where the hell are the seats that automatically cool down in the summer? Make it happen, nerds.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Whitening my teeth by getting a tan.

Making waves on Facebook:

I am not in a good place, geographically.

Shared recently on X:

You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Shared recently on Telegram:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

Seen just now on Slack:

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

America was more fun when organized crime was done by Italians in Chicago.

You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

The world contains protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨