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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Took a bunch of Ibuprofen to keep my posts from being too inflammatory.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

There is too much happening for mid-December. Where are the canceled meetings? Why are we not circling back next year?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Peeling a sweaty sports bra off counts as aerobic exercise, right?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Babe, would it kill you to meow back?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,657

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

Trending via Snapchat:

I just refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good to watch.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

Spotted on Pinterest:

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

Live now on Reddit:

Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

Girl dinner, but it’s the hearts of men who wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

3 months ago

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Commentary:
When you're all out of snack ideas, just feast on man'splaining instead. 🍽️🫀😏

answer, dating, dinner, girl, girl dinner, heart, hearts, humor, man, men, persistence, refusal, take

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

1 month ago
activity, alone, alone time, avoidance, concert, DaBaby, event, fun, fun activity, humor, i, introvert, music, music event, need, social, social avoidance, time
My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

1 month ago
cooking, dinner, else, favorite, food, humor, laziness, meal, preference, someone, someone else
You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

1 month ago
bad, bad hair, discount, giving, hair, hair salon, haircut, haircut joke, humor, joke, know, salon
Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

1 month ago
activity, fun, humor, mouth, opera, shower, singing, soap, soap opera
I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

1 month ago
activity, age, aging, club, hardware, hardware store, humor, i, lifestyle, preference, social, social activity, store, where
A cheat code to adulting is to always have something to look forward to, no matter how small or big.

2 months ago
adulting, always, anticipation, big, cheat, cheat code, code, forward, matter, motivation, outlook, positivity, small, something

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Thinking about ignoring daily mess by creating new holiday decor mess.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Before we all die from nuclear war or a global climate crisis, can we get a little alien invasion as a treat.

Making waves on Threads:

When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

Just landed via Slack:

Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’m not saving daylight. I’m the one that needs saving.

Making waves on Twitch:

Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I found out my husband was cheating on me at a Linkin Park concert. We tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Girl dinner, but it’s the hearts of men who wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

A cheat code to adulting is to always have something to look forward to, no matter how small or big.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Is everyone enjoying their entire month of August off work with full pay? Oh yeah, I forgot, only Congress gets to do that.

People who accuse me of delusions of grandeur, obviously don’t worship me enough.

“In a galaxy far, far away” is starting to sound quite enticing.

Never underestimate my ability to stare out a window and not speak for hours on a car ride.

Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

Airlines when they need to change your flight: here’s a complimentary napkin. Airlines when you need to change your flight: that’ll be $8700.

Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

A Southerner dies every time you people type “ya’ll” instead of “y’all,” btw.

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Photos are cool because they are like now but for later.

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Girl dinner, but it’s the hearts of men who wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

A cheat code to adulting is to always have something to look forward to, no matter how small or big.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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