Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Don’t worry, bro. She’s probably just working on a puzzle right now. She’ll get back to you.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

“I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,634

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

Going viral on YouTube:

There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado.

Making waves on Discord:

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

“I’m just a girl!” No, you are a monster.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

Spotted on TikTok:

As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.

Trending via Instagram:

I get jealous when I find someone playing a song I thought only I knew.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Just landed via Messenger:

I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

Going bananas on TikTok:

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

Honestly, I can see why God flooded the Earth that one time.

2 days ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Guess God couldn't find a 'reset' button, so He went for a deep clean! 🌊🙌"

biblical, disaster, Earth, Flood, God, humor, i, joke, time, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There are no adults in the room. The cavalry is not coming. Everything was built by people no smarter than you.

1 week ago

adult, adults, building, built, cavalry, coming, everything, humor, intelligence, people, room, self-reliance, smarter
Turns out, sitting on the porch, feeding birds and squirrels, is a pretty good treatment for depression.

6 months ago

activity, bird, birds, depression, feeding, good, health, hobby, mental, mental health, nature, outdoor, outdoor activity, porch, pretty, relaxation, sitting, squirrel, squirrels, treatment
Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

2 months ago

911, breathe, call, ever, exercise, hand, hill, quieter, raise, relatable, strangers, tried, walking
I’m not fat. I just eat in advance.

2 months ago

advance, diet, eat, fat, food, humor, i, just, self-deprecation
Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

2 months ago

day, escape, every, exercise, fitness, humor, leg, leg day, motivation, problem, problems, running
The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

5 months ago

brushing, brushing teeth, confidence, ever, falls, hottest, humor, i, moment, much, personal, personal moment, self, self-confidence, situation, teeth, tree, tree falls in the woods, underwear, woods

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on YouTube this month:

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

Another day on this hamster wheel to nowhere.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

I changed my alarm clock sound to an applause, it’s the least I deserve for waking up at 7am.

73 shares on Facebook this month:

You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

74 shares on Reddit this month:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

73 shares on Threads this month:

Just so you know, it’s almost impossible to drink coffee while laying down.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

My worst fear is dating someone who loves their ex like my exes love me.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Unless you’re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I feel like I’ve skipped the whole ‘go out and have fun’ stage and went straight to being an 80-year-old woman.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.

Making waves on WeChat:

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

Spotted on Instagram:

The lion is actually pretty concerned right now.

Going viral on Facebook:

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Honestly, I can see why God flooded the Earth that one time.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

There are no adults in the room. The cavalry is not coming. Everything was built by people no smarter than you.

Turns out, sitting on the porch, feeding birds and squirrels, is a pretty good treatment for depression.

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

I’m not fat. I just eat in advance.

Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨