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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

If you turn your phone off for 1 day, you’ll realize it’s still 2007 outside.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Zen and the Art of Empty Pockets.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Ghosting is disrespectful unless it’s me doing it.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Oh good. Another day.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Enjoy the time between diapers!

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

If I let you into my life, I am either emotionally invested or you are a grilled cheese sandwich.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

There’s a word in modern Hungarian slang, egérmozi, which describes watching films (or shows) on your phone. It means “mouse cinema”.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

God forbid a girl uses shopping as her coping mechanism.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,993

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

Broadcasted on Discord:

I put the “pro” in procrastinate.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.

Going viral on Threads:

The best way to use Twitter will forever be as an observer.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

They always say, there is someone for everyone… unfortunately, the person for me is a therapist.

Breaking via YouTube:

At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

Going bananas on YouTube:

How can I be ready for the future when I’m not even ready to get up in the morning?

Shared recently on WeChat:

My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Online dating is stupid because scent is such an important factor of attraction.

I become someone I don’t recognize when I play Monopoly.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a classic case of "Monopoly Madness"—when a friendly game night turns into a corporate takeover! 🤑🏠😂

board, board game, competition, game, humor, i, Monopoly, personality, play, someone, transformation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

0

5 months ago

before, diet, food, foods, health, humor, never, nutrition, protein, science, surprise
The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

0

2 months ago

bed, beds, debunked, furniture, humor, joke, regular, stacked, stacked bed, theory
Okay, that’s enough todaying for today.

0

2 months ago

activity, break, enough, humor, okay, procrastination, today
They should have a special lane for texting and driving.

0

2 months ago

distraction, driving, humor, joke, lane, safety, should, special, texting
I’ve come to the conclusion that my guardian angel is very possessive about me.

0

3 months ago

angel, conclusion, guardian, guardian angel, humor, me, possessive, protection
Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

0

2 months ago

cause, energy, humor, irony, just, label, loss, medication, read, removal, thinking, warning, weight, weight loss, wishful, wishful thinking, wrinkle, wrinkle removal

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

Thank you all for attending my final rose ceremony. There will be no roses.

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

52 shares on TikTok this month:

My toxic trait is optimism.

89 shares on Threads this month:

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

No more relationships for me, the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

72 shares on Twitch this month:

Can anyone recommend some good places for somebody just getting into visiting?

47 shares on Twitch this month:

My superpower is embarrassing myself.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

“Are you getting your period?” God forbid I’m just evil.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Asking for a donation like Wikipedia every time someone asks me a question.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Vote for me and I’ll remove all the calories from cheese.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

“Don’t let me keep you!” Translation: Please go.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

If someone steals your joke, you have to file a LOLsuit.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

Just landed via YouTube:

Wild Friday night, and by wild, I mean me and the other psychopaths at the gym.

Just landed via Threads:

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

You are not obligated to post a video of yourself dancing.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

Shared recently on Instagram:

No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

Live now on Reddit:

If elves make shoes, cookies, and toys, why don’t we put them in charge of more stuff?

Making waves on YouTube:

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

Shared recently on X:

The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I become someone I don’t recognize when I play Monopoly.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

Okay, that’s enough todaying for today.

They should have a special lane for texting and driving.

I’ve come to the conclusion that my guardian angel is very possessive about me.

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨