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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Sorry about all of the correct stuff I said when I was right.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,025

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

You ever just see a tree and be like, “Bob Ross would’ve liked this one”?

Seen just now on Threads:

Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house.

Making waves on Reddit:

The only thing I know about AI is, it desperately wants us to have more fingers.

Making waves on Discord:

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

Live now on WeChat:

Am I the only person who hates spending the night at someone’s place? Like, we can hang out until 3 a.m., but I’m still going home.

Going viral on Reddit:

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

Making waves on YouTube:

Your secret is safe with me and my sister.

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Emails: the modern-day equivalent of a carrier pigeon that never leaves your inbox 🐦📬😂

believe, communication, digital, digital life, email, emails, humor, i, life, message, something, technology, tell, trying, us

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

2 months ago
forever, humor, love, nothing, proposal, relationship, wit
Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

1 month ago
bottle, condiment, fast, faster, food, humor, ketchup, kitchen, little, nothing, only, want
I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

1 month ago
asking, Friday, front, girl, humor, just, longing, Monday, procrastination, standing, weekend, workweek
If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

6 days ago
communication, conversation, fall, humor, message, minute, phone, someone, text, texts, time, trick
If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

1 month ago
bag, bring, food, happy, holiday, home, humor, leftover, me, request, Thanksgiving, wish, ziplock, ziplock bag
In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.

1 month ago
alternate, alternate universe, always, hard, hard way, humor, learning, me, universe

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Also shame on you. Stop foolin’ me, I am pure.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

If it was really a smart phone, it would have recognize that it was an ignored call, not missed.

Going bananas on Twitch:

You think you’ve seen gold diggers, until you see a male friend group where only one of them made it.

Going viral on Facebook:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

Going bananas on Telegram:

A pretty girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Breaking via Facebook:

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

Spotted on YouTube:

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

McDonald’s only giving me 9 Chicken Nuggets instead of 10 is how my villain origin story began.

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

I’m going to be a printer today and just not work.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

My ex was like “I know a spot,” then took me to the lowest point in my life.

My morning routine consists of talking myself out of quitting my job.

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

Can’t say “I’m tired” without my mom making it a competition of who is the most tired and who has more reason to be.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

All of my problems boil down to me being bad at being alive.

I’d probably be a very chill werewolf, even during a full moon.

I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.

Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.

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I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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