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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

I get all the cardio I need by running out of patience.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Where did you come from, Where did you go, Where did you come from, Pokémon Go.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Girls actually do love nice guys. It’s just that you’re not as nice a guy as you think you are…

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

I wanna marry someone funnier than me, but sadly, I am the funniest.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Being a toddler’s favorite person is what real love actually looks like.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

What pushes you to watch 19 seasons of people in a hospital?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,671

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

Seen just now on Threads:

That moment when rappers mispronounce a word just to make it rhyme.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

Just landed via Discord:

I should’ve existed as a tree.

Making waves on Twitch:

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Just landed via Messenger:

The easiest diet is lack of money. You don’t have to do anything.

Shared recently on Threads:

There’s a weird kind of grief that comes with late August, and I can’t explain it.

Going bananas on Discord:

“You’re under the weather?” We all are, idiot. It’s in the sky.

Just landed via Reddit:

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

I just went to Crazy Town, and they said you’re a local legend.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
I visited Crazy Town, and they awarded me a key to the city in your honor! 😂🏅🤪

crazy, crazy town, humor, i, joke, just, legend, local, local legend, said, sarcasm, town

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

2 months ago

conflict, craving, donut, humor, hunger, i, jealousy, me, nemesis, person, rivalry
If you’re soft, don’t come to my house, cause my kids will roast you.

2 months ago

banter, cause, family, house, humor, insult, kids, playful, playful banter, roast, soft, toughness
Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

2 months ago

boredom, distraction, humor, keep, media, nothing, scrolling, self-deprecation, social, social media
Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

2 months ago

emotion, human, learn, learning, proper, someday
Don’t underestimate your white tee and denim jeans.

2 weeks ago

casual, casual wear, clothing, denim, denim jean, fashion, jean, jeans, outfit, style, tee, underestimate, wear, white, white tee
Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

2 months ago

asking, daddy, dating, friend, humor, joke, relationship, sugar, sugar daddy, where

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Instagram this month:

If you’ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, you’ve never had a cheeseburger.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

I love when women move on. It’s my favourite genre.

75 shares on Discord this month:

Boss: Why do I have to always come and find you? Me: Because a good employee is hard to find.

77 shares on Threads this month:

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

54 shares on WeChat this month:

Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

72 shares on Discord this month:

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

51 shares on Messenger this month:

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

This is the fastest December in the history of all December.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

A woman’s way of flirting is thinking about you until you get the urge to reach out to her.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Who called it a shopaholic and not a boughtanist?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

“Some things are better left unsaid,” I think to myself immediately after I hit send.

Just shared via Facebook:

The evening news: Where they begin with “Good evening” and then proceed to tell you why it’s not.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I just went to Crazy Town, and they said you’re a local legend.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

If you’re soft, don’t come to my house, cause my kids will roast you.

Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

Don’t underestimate your white tee and denim jeans.

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨