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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

The dumbest person you know is being told, “You’re absolutely right!” by ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Movies in the 80s had me convinced that a main part of being a grown-up was staying late at the office and eating Chinese takeout.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Just so you know, it’s almost impossible to drink coffee while laying down.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

People without a sense of humor should not be allowed to decide what people with a sense of humor are allowed to laugh at.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

I don’t drink coffee all the time. I take breaks in between to make another one.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

The secret ingredient to being really funny is childhood trauma.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,313

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

Just shared via YouTube:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Difference between a flirt and harassment: if you are handsome, it’s a flirt, if you are ugly, it’s harassment.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I do my best to kill everyone with kindness, but they don’t seem to be dying.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

Going viral on YouTube:

Everyone’s a gangster until they have to say sorry.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

I was going to go for a run, then realized I could just run my mouth on here.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When cardio meets comedy: burning calories one laugh at a time! 😜😂🏃‍♂️💬

exercise, going, here, humor, i, just, mouth, procrastination, run, running, talking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

0

2 months ago

couple, funny situation, humor, husband, irony, lost, lost money, money, relationship, search, situation, spending, yesterday
A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

0

2 months ago

convenience, drive-thru, drone, fast, fast food, food, humor, line, seeing, technology
Salt is just angry sugar.

0

2 months ago

angry, comparison, food, humor, just, playful, playful comparison, salt, sarcasm, sugar, taste
My big 3? Yapping, napping & snacking!

0

2 months ago

3, activity, big, fun, fun activity, hobby, humor, napping, relaxation, snacking, yapping
My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

0

2 months ago

bagel, creativity, everything, everywhere, food, humor, joke, just, mess, parenting, son
You don’t scare me, you’re not my ID photo.

0

2 months ago

confidence, fear, humor, ID, me, photo, scare, self-esteem

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

As soon as the sun comes back out, I want a beer. It’s science.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

She got me to fall for her, like a boomer seeing an AI image on Facebook.

50 shares on Instagram this month:

As it turns out, the only way to avoid work stress is not going.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges.

51 shares on X this month:

Welcome to your 50s, you now take supplements to help your memory, but you can’t remember if you took them today.

62 shares on Instagram this month:

I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Nothing burger” is such a funny phrase. Americans when nothing: so imagine a burger.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

If God had known what mankind would turn into, he would have sterilized Adam.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Pool rules: You’re not allowed to do anything that begins with the words ‘Hey everyone watch this!’

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I’m not sure my body can handle much more of this “getting out of bed” nonsense.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Apparently the thirstiest creature in the whole world is always a kid who’s been told to go back to his bed like a hundred times.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

Freshly posted on Threads:

“I’m just a girl!” No, you are a monster.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

Shared recently on YouTube:

“Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” Cool, I dislike both of those things.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Children will see a neatly hanging dish towel and be like oh hell no.

Just landed via Discord:

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

Just shared via Reddit:

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

Just shared via Messenger:

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

Shared recently on Messenger:

You don’t scare me. You’re not those two minutes when I can’t find my wallet.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I was going to go for a run, then realized I could just run my mouth on here.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

Salt is just angry sugar.

My big 3? Yapping, napping & snacking!

My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

You don’t scare me, you’re not my ID photo.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨