Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

I think I’ma end the year with a plot twist, everyone hold on tight.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Just asked this girl Hannah how she spells her name, and she just said, “Two of everything, darling.” Iconic!

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

They’re making me get out of bed.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Guys with grey in their beards will do that thing you like.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,686

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

“Girls just want to have fun!” No, I want one million dollars cash.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m just here to make you wish I wasn’t.

Making waves on Telegram:

There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Just say, “My future husband would never do that,” and move on.

Just landed via Threads:

It’s funny how it’s often easier to access academic resources illegally, even when you have university library access.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

Just landed via Facebook:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

Going bananas on Facebook:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

Shared recently on Slack:

I have an addiction to pattern recognition.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

If three ghosts visited me on Christmas, I’d make them play Mario Party with me.

2 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ghosts better bring their A-game, because I'm about to teach them the true meaning of Joy-Con drift! 👻🎮🎄

Christmas, game, ghost, ghosts, holiday, humor, ID, Mario, Mario Party, me, party, play, three, video, video game

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The world would be a much nicer place if we just turn off the news.

0

2 months ago

humor, just, media, much, news, nicer, nicer place, place, positivity, turn, world
Asking Santa Claus for nudes.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, asking, Christmas, holiday, humor, joke, nudes, request, Santa
The lion doesn’t concern himself with credit card debt.

0

2 months ago

animal, card, concern, credit, credit card debt, debt, finance, humor, joke, lion, metaphor, money, stress
I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.

0

2 months ago

chemicals, everything, food, hate, humor, i, irony, lifestyle, miss, nostalgia, organic, preferences
Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

0

4 months ago

challenge, crisis, daily, daily life, daily struggle, day, every, humor, life, life challenge, mid-day, mid-day crisis, mid-life, mid-life crisis, midday, midlife, something, struggle
Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

0

2 months ago

13th, asked, call, conference, conference call, conversation, conversation starter, experience, Friday, Friday the 13th, hockey, hockey mask, humor, mask, spooky, starter, unique, unique experience, workplace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Facebook this month:

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

86 shares on Messenger this month:

To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

25 shares on Instagram this month:

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

All we needed to be happy in the 90s was music and cigarettes.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

Doggy style means I get a treat afterwards, right?

40 shares on Messenger this month:

If you wear glasses, we expect a lot from you academically, especially if your glasses have a rope.

17 shares on Threads this month:

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

40 shares on Reddit this month:

I have no use for mean people. I’ll walk right past you like you’re furniture.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Don’t let anyone treat you like a red flag, you’re the whole damn red carpet, baby.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Hate when I have to be mean. Why would you push a sweet girl this far?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Imagine if you spent all your time studying, actually studying.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

Just shared via Discord:

If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

Just landed via Facebook:

Today feels like a good day for a cheeseburger.

Making waves on Facebook:

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

Going bananas on Threads:

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

Just landed via TikTok:

I postpone certain outfits until I get a certain hairstyle because, yes, it’s that deep.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

“Home Alone” is a holiday reminder that peace begins the moment everyone leaves the house.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

Just shared via X:

Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If three ghosts visited me on Christmas, I’d make them play Mario Party with me.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The world would be a much nicer place if we just turn off the news.

Asking Santa Claus for nudes.

The lion doesn’t concern himself with credit card debt.

I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨