Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

My kids asked me what games I used to play on my iPad as a kid. I told them I used to speak into a fan to sound like a robot.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

“Autophagy” would be a beautiful name for a girl.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Why is nobody questioning the quietness of the cosmos?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,751

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

I think my type is a nice person.

Trending via Discord:

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

Just landed via TikTok:

You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

Trending via Snapchat:

I should be able to eat one huge meal a month, like a snake. This every-few-hours shit sucks.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Transgender ambulance driver whose pronouns are we/you/we/you/we/you.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.

Live now on TikTok:

I made up all these romantic scenarios in my brain and you’re not following the script.

I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to find the punchline in your tweet like it's the last piece of candy! 🍬😂

almost, compliment, finished, humor, love, media, reading, sarcasm, social, social media, tweet

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

2 months ago

account, beginning, fresh, fresh start, humor, i, life, mess, mess up, mistakes, new, new beginning, restart, start
I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

2 months ago

budgeting, days, done, finance, get by, humor, i, management, math, money, month, time, time management
All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

1 month ago

broken, broken people, dealing, humor, lord, me, mechanic, people, tell
What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.

1 month ago

craving, dinner, food, humor, i, invention, want, wish
Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

1 month ago

bring, consequences, days, devastation, digestive, digestive system, food, holiday, humor, indulgence, nobody, stuffing, system, warning
Fake laughing at work is exhausting as hell, just leave me alone, bro.

2 months ago

alone, bro, exhausting, exhaustion, fake, fake laugh, hell, humor, interaction, just, laugh, laughing, leave, me, social, social interaction, work

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Talking to some people is like folding a fitted sheet.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Relationships are only serious when photos are posted by a man.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I told my daughter to check her attitude, and she responded, “For complaints about attitude, please contact the manufacturer.”

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

There’s a Marie Antoinette feeling in the air.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

I thought Game of Thrones was a pooping contest for men.

Seen just now on Messenger:

It’s officially Christmas shopping season, and I can’t even afford my own life.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

An alcoholic morning show host becoming Secretary of War is some Kurt Vonnegut shit.

Shared recently on Messenger:

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

Going viral on Twitch:

How long does it take for an apple to turn brown after you cut it? Never mind.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

This is not what adulthood looked like in the brochure.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Together, I can beat schizophrenia.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.

There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

Nothing is complicated when you’re simple-minded like me.

I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Age range on my dating app set to 40+. Y’all fighting over grapes while I’m drinking wine.

The first step is admitting that the other person is the one with the problem.

Please text me back. I’m about to start making stuff up in my head, and the stuff is all bad.

I need carpenters to remember that beds are also for sex. The aesthetics are great and all, but what is with all the squeaking?

Jobs are so clingy. Why do you need to see me 40 hours a week?

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

Nothing in a household is said more lovingly than, “Can you bring me some toilet paper?”

I’m lazy and chubby. I love food, naps, and coffee. I don’t like Mondays, people, and exercise. I never thought I would grow up to be Garfield.

Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.

I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

You get your hands on a real serious pair of scissors and wonder what the hell they were doing with the regular ones.

That moment when you’re reading but realize you forgot to understand.

Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

Fake laughing at work is exhausting as hell, just leave me alone, bro.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏