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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

If you’re ever intimidated by someone just imagine them opening a Capri Sun.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Good morning to life’s chaos, where my coffee is the only thing that makes sense!

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

I need a long hot meteor shower.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,707

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through.

Trending via Messenger:

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

Breaking via WeChat:

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

Live now on Facebook:

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

Making waves on Telegram:

Adulthood is realising no one cares about you, and the show must go on.

Making waves on Slack:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Making waves on YouTube:

Twitter is cool because you can figure out what’s going on in the world through memes instead of watching the news.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I don’t hate anyone in particular, I just hate everyone in general.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

1 day ago

Funny Quotes

Funny text about rejecting A.I. romances with playful attitude.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sorry, I can't go out with you. My heart belongs to a virtual man who never interrupts me when I'm talking 😏💔🤖 #RelationshipGoals"

A.I., AI, boyfriend, dating, humor, i, relationship, sorry, technology

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Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

91 shares on X this month:

I think the real reason this generation is so angry is that their music sucks.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

Feel like if a bunch of gays were stranded on a desert island, they’d all drop that voice thing in, like, a day.

98 shares on Twitch this month:

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

58 shares on Messenger this month:

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

52 shares on Reddit this month:

“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

49 shares on Threads this month:

Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

88 shares on Twitch this month:

He’s an everything bagel… I’m just a nothing burger…

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Best thing about TikTok is you literally don’t need to follow anyone to have a good time.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Can I just skip to the part in my life where I’m rich and happily in love?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I’m very strong, but not in a get a jar open kinda way.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

One interesting thing I learned in my thirties is that you can leave a bar before it closes.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

How did they call Deadpool’s dog ‘Dogpool’ when ‘Deadpoodle’ was right there?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

People say 70-80 year olds are unemployable because of mental decline, yet somehow they’re running all the countries.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

Spotted on X:

That one friend who has a dangerously loose grasp on food safety.

Making waves on Pinterest:

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I can actually be quite charming if you would let me out of the guillotine.

Trending via YouTube:

Ladies, if you receive flowers with no card on them today, they’re from me.

Breaking via X:

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

Breaking via X:

Today, I want to talk about how people’s houses smell funny, but mine doesn’t.

Live now on Twitch:

Remember: The first step to recovery is addiction.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

Why are so many people going everywhere whenever I have to go anywhere?

Most earthquakes could have been an email.

Shout out to Yamaha for being like, “Here’s a cool motorcycle. Also, here’s a cool piano.”

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Why are so many people going everywhere whenever I have to go anywhere?

Most earthquakes could have been an email.

Shout out to Yamaha for being like, “Here’s a cool motorcycle. Also, here’s a cool piano.”

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨