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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡พ has shared:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, Iโ€™m giving you a wedgie.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has viewed:

I am awake and ready to be disappointed.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡น has shared:

Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡น has copied:

When I get bored on a Zoom meeting, I put a cursor under the speakerโ€™s nose to make it look like they have a booger.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ซ has downloaded:

Time to put the stressful screen away (phone) and switch to the comfort screen (Kindle).

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has shared:

I don’t think we’ll ever see aliens. I bet that they’re just gathering information and waiting for us to destroy ourselves.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has shared:

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ญ has shared:

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ผ has shared:

Before we all die from nuclear war or a global climate crisis, can we get a little alien invasion as a treat.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has copied:

You will give your period 50 acres of prime pad, and it will still choose to encroach on your underwear.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,403

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Going viral on YouTube:

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

Shared recently on X:

Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

Just shared via WeChat:

If love is the answer then what was the question?

Just landed via TikTok:

You know itโ€™s bad when people start telling you that you are the strongest person theyโ€™ve ever met.

Seen just now on Threads:

Your honor, I was in my villain era at the time of those incidents.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

Just shared via Facebook:

Toddlers be like, we can do this the hard way or the harder way.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

Just saw the fattest bird. This guy must get up early as hell.

Humorous text about a large bird and its early-morning habits.
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
Well, talk about a early riser! ๐Ÿฆ๐Ÿ’ช Looks like this bird's got the breakfast shift locked in. Who knew birds could be such overachievers? ๐Ÿ˜‚๐ŸŒ…

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Keep the laugh going ๐Ÿ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars โญ

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Applying for jobs sometimes is wild, like how am I supposed to be passionate about a company I donโ€™t even work for yet?

45 shares on Messenger this month:

Imagine thinking you have any clue whatโ€™s going on.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

20 shares on Facebook this month:

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love it when God gives me money.

32 shares on Telegram this month:

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

Are you bad wifi, cause im feeling no connection here.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s okay to run away from the cops if you’re shy.

26 shares on Messenger this month:

Listen kid, I have social media profiles older than you.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

23 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?

19 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

16 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

24 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

25 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

You can tell a lot about someone by the stuff you make up in your head about them.

24 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.

12 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Does anyone else run a used match under water before disposing of it because you’re afraid it still has some fire left in it, or are you normal?

23 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

20 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I treat people the way I want to be treated by not leaving the house.

10 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,680

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has downloaded:

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ณ has shared:

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡จ has copied:

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฎ has downloaded:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ช has downloaded:

How bad can a decision really be if nobody from the future shows up to stop you?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

Canโ€™t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡พ has downloaded:

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has downloaded:

My toxic trait is treating my glasses like theyโ€™re not the most expensive thing I wear everyday.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ธ has bookmarked:

The hardest part of corporate life is pretending to care about things that donโ€™t matter.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ณ has copied:

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

Just shared via X:

Sharks are orcs, dolphins are elves.

Shared recently on X:

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

Going bananas on Discord:

Going to all the Halloween parties this year as the Invisible Man.

Just landed via Slack:

I miss when bills were none of my business.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

Just shared via Pinterest:

He likes when I shakalaka, so, woop, there it is.

Making waves on Facebook:

Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.

Just shared via Messenger:

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

ยฉ 2026. All rights reserved.

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