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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

People have ex girlfriends, I have ex crushes.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

How long does it take for an apple to turn brown after you cut it? Never mind.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Sometimes I watch people do their jobs, and I’m like, damn, you might benefit from a little imposter syndrome, actually.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Work can be tiring at times, and you might feel like quitting. But remember those plane tickets.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

If you like water, you already like 72% of me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,401

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

No, babe, I love your prefrontal cortex. The fully developed ones scare me.

Live now on X:

This is no glow. This is the rage that boils inside me.

Spreading quickly via X:

Probably the worst thing about the death of print media is the devastating effect it’s having on the producers of traditional ransom notes.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I don’t need therapy. I need everyone who’s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

Trending via Pinterest:

The leading cause for injury in old men is them thinking they are still young men.

Just shared via Threads:

Pinterest algorithm is like a loving dad who fills the whole fridge with oranges after seeing you enjoy one.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

Just shared via WeChat:

Me rereading his texts after we’ve already said goodnight just so I can giggle and blush all over again.

Breaking via Facebook:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

Maybe the problem is that I’m cooler than any man I’ve ever met.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your thermostat can't handle your level of cool 😎❄️

confidence, cooler, coolness, dating, ever, humor, man, maybe, met, personality, problem, relationship, self-esteem

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

2 months ago

back, back to work, Christmas, day, frustration, holiday, humor, illegal, off, time, time off, week, work, work week
Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

2 months ago

ability, awareness, everyone, except, good, humor, missing, morning, people, read, room, sarcasm, skills, social, social skills
I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

2 months ago

baked, baked potato, cute, humor, i, mirror, pictures, potato, question, self-image
I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

2 months ago

entertainment, favorite, good, humor, i, opinion, say, show
Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

2 months ago

advice, blame, blaming, comedy, everyone, everything, frustration, hate, humor, irony, person, pick, problem, problems, relationships, sarcasm, stop
My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.

1 month ago

even, humor, i, management, procrastination, superpower, time, time management, wasting, wasting time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on YouTube this month:

Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

52 shares on YouTube this month:

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

Stop using ChatGPT. You got a question, you come to me first.

55 shares on Messenger this month:

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

81 shares on Threads this month:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me I’m gonna say “I’m a biter” and see how it goes.

88 shares on Facebook this month:

Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

Maybe her DMs haven’t been working for 2 months.

31 shares on Instagram this month:

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

My favorite animal is me when my feelings are hurt.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

That awkward moment when everything is going so perfectly… and then you wake up.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

Breaking via YouTube:

What is rizz if not swag persevering?!

Shared recently on YouTube:

It’s almost time to put winter tires on the struggle bus.

Spotted on Facebook:

Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? Disgusting.

Live now on YouTube:

I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

Trending via Instagram:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

Making waves on Facebook:

Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Maybe the problem is that I’m cooler than any man I’ve ever met.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨