Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Guess it's a case of 'vision'ary decision-making! 👓😎 Who needs 20/20 vision when you've already seen it all? Time to let those eyes take a well-deserved break! 🤓🚫 #SeenItAll"

enough, glasses, humor, seeing, seen, vision

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Of course I intermittently fast. That’s when I sleep.

0

2 months ago

course, diet, fast, humor, i, irony, joke, lifestyle, sleep
Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

0

2 months ago

conversation, human, humor, identity, irony, okay, proof, prove, robot, technology
Even wild things have slow mornings.

0

2 months ago

even, humor, morning, mornings, relatable, slow, slow morning, thing, things, wild, wild thing
Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no, seriously, shout out to make sure they’re okay.

0

2 months ago

concern, exercise, heat, humor, jogging, okay, people, seriously, shout, shout out, sure
Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

0

2 months ago

again, blink, calendar, every, frustration, humor, i, live, loop, Monday, monotony, repetition, routine, time, time loop, weekly, weekly routine
I am calling on public libraries to ban the books that I borrowed and lost. We don’t need that kind of crap in the libraries.

0

2 months ago

am, ban, books, borrow, calling, humor, i, irony, library, lost, need, public, reading

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

Awake? You may be entitled to compensation.

76 shares on Slack this month:

According to my Spotify Wrapped, I am what got played the most this year.

44 shares on Discord this month:

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

94 shares on Slack this month:

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

13 shares on YouTube this month:

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

100 shares on Telegram this month:

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

32 shares on Messenger this month:

Work beers should be a daily thing.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I’m so jealous of people who know how to shut up. I shut up, and subtitles come out my face.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Earth is hard.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Never skip the footnotes – it’s here you find out who made the author angry enough to write the article.

Freshly posted on Slack:

The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

Shared recently on Facebook:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.

Trending via Twitch:

Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

Just shared via Threads:

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

Just shared via YouTube:

I’m always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing.

Trending via Twitch:

Every time I use a Windows computer, it’s like they built malware into the OS. Like, what do you mean there are ads in the start menu?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

We could have high-speed rail that connects the entire country, but instead we get AI porn bots that steal all of our drinking water to entertain the dumbest people alive.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Not wearing glasses anymore, I’ve seen enough.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Of course I intermittently fast. That’s when I sleep.

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

Even wild things have slow mornings.

Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no, seriously, shout out to make sure they’re okay.

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

I am calling on public libraries to ban the books that I borrowed and lost. We don’t need that kind of crap in the libraries.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨