Commentary:
I always say "essentially" when I want to sound like I almost graduated from my TED Talk binge-watching university 🎓😄
“I’m getting to an age where I realize I shouldn’t have laughed at my grandparents for having an ‘upstairs’ vacuum.”
Commentary:
Now I understand why they looked at me funny when I suggested a Roomba could handle stairs! 😂🏃♂️✨
My first mistake was leaving the womb.
Commentary:
Looks like my life's GPS got stuck on 'recalculating' ever since! 🚼➡️🌀🤣
“Stop thinking about it.” Wow, thank you, I am cured. You should write a book.
Commentary:
Oh great, now I can add "professional advice giver" to my imaginary resume! 🤔📚😂
Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”
Commentary:
Sundays: when your brain transforms into that overly concerned friend who just realized you haven't started your week's worth of adulting yet 😅🧠💥
“I’m not even close to how crazy I’m legally entitled to be.”
Commentary:
"Take cover, folks! 😂 I'm just warming up and already teetering on the edge of my crazy quota! 🚀🙃"
I waste a lot of time putting my phone down to just pick it back up again.
Commentary:
Sounds like my phone and I are stuck in a never-ending game of hot potato! 📱🤣🔥
Hey there, Delilah, what’s it like in new orc city?
Commentary:
When you text your friend to ask how many potions you need for the subway ride 🧙♂️🗽😂
Being a people pleaser that no one is pleased with is the main cause of my anxiety.
Commentary:
Trying to please everyone and still failing is my superpower 🌟🤦♂️ #PeoplePleaserProblems 😅
Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.
Commentary:
Guess they accidentally joined the "How to Self-Checkout" certification course! 🛒🤦♂️💸