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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I wish I had a friend like me.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

“People you may know” and it’s someone I would set on fire.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

296 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,565

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,565

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,250

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Staying weird for my own sanity.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’m not saving daylight. I’m the one that needs saving.

Spotted on X:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

Freshly posted on X:

Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about, except for me. I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I followed my heart. It led me to the fridge.

Just landed via Pinterest:

My Indian name would be “Stares at Phone All Day.”

Shared recently on WeChat:

Can you turn your swag off for one second and listen?

Broadcasted on YouTube:

More candlelight, less gaslight, babe.

Spotted on YouTube:

My best three minutes of sleep are the ones right before the alarm goes off.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.

That looks like a problem for someone else.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When life hands you lemons, pass them to someone else and say you're allergic 🍋🙌😂

else, humor, looks, problem, procrastination, responsibility, sarcasm, someone

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

2 months ago

blood, cravings, end, ever, fantasy, food, funny thought, human, humor, insects, mosquito, obsession, pizza, pursuit, thought
You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

2 months ago

conversation, humor, ologist, sarcasm, smart, sound, wit
I do believe TikTok saves the funniest videos for late at night. There’s no way.

3 months ago

believe, funny video, humor, i, late, late night, media, night, social, social media, TikTok, video, videos
A camel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, you can’t bring your own drinks in here!”

2 months ago

animal, bar, bartender, bring, camel, drinks, here, humor, joke, own, pun, situation, walks
The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

5 months ago

act, always, animal, animal behavior, behavior, best, celebration, context, dog, dogs, excitement, good, happiness, idea, joy, just, matter, party, pet, ready, something, start, thing, too
I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

2 months ago

backpack, bed, big, comfort, difference, guy, humor, i, let, once, relationship, short, short guy, size, size difference, spoon

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on WeChat this month:

Plants are like “I’ll have a light lunch.”

93 shares on WeChat this month:

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

24 shares on X this month:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

25 shares on Twitch this month:

Sorry I was late, I was frantically applying to other jobs.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

68 shares on X this month:

The circus does not condone the actions being taken by its monkeys.

13 shares on X this month:

You know when a donkey followed Shrek home and just kept talking? That’s what it’s like having kids.

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

80 shares on Instagram this month:

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

One of my greatest strengths is appearing busy so people don’t try to speak to me.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I started my diet 2 hours ago, I’m glad that’s over.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let’s be positive here.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I don’t drink blood to stay young. I do it mainly for the lifestyle.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

It’s crazy I need a certificate to prove I was born when you can literally just look at me.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Every marriage has a personality hire, and then someone who knows how insurance works.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

To whoever stole my oversized clock, you owe me big time.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Eating cookies left for Santa because the cowboy was a no show.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I really miss my family… sized bag of crisps.

Making waves on Telegram:

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

Spotted on X:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

Shared recently on X:

I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.

Just landed via Discord:

I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

That looks like a problem for someone else.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

I do believe TikTok saves the funniest videos for late at night. There’s no way.

A camel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, you can’t bring your own drinks in here!”

The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨