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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.
  • I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.
  • She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.
  • I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.
  • You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.
  • Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.