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Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old dilemma of cucumber placement at crucial moments 😂🥒! Just remember, choose wisely and avoid any mix-ups between the salad bowl and the bedroom! 🥗🛏️ #FoodForThought"

cravings, cucumber, difference, food, horny, humor, hungry, innuendo, joke, sexuality, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

0

2 months ago

antler, Christmas, fireplace, holiday, humor, joke, reindeer, Santa, union
Pressure washing is like regular washing but with a lot of yelling and tight deadlines.

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2 months ago

cleaning, deadlines, exaggeration, humor, pressure, pressure washing, regular, regular washing, stress, tight, washing, work, work stress, yelling
I’m only staying up until midnight on New Year’s to watch that bloody year die.

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2 days ago

die, end, humor, midnight, new, new year, only, staying, staying up, watch, year, year-end
Hosting Thanksgiving? Bring up politics so everyone will leave early.

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2 months ago

awkward, awkward conversation, bring, conversation, departure, dinner, early, early departure, everyone, family, family gathering, gathering, holiday, hosting, humor, leave, politics, Thanksgiving
I’m saving money on rent by moving into an abandoned cobweb.

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2 months ago

abandoned, cobweb, humor, joke, money, moving, rent, saving, saving money
I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

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2 months ago

brand, buzzing, care, curiosity, enjoying, funny observation, hear, hour, humor, i, know, need, neighbor, observation, personal, personal care, time, toothbrush

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on X this month:

I’m surviving motherhood, one teenage meltdown at a time.

79 shares on Telegram this month:

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

34 shares on X this month:

I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse, except for money.

39 shares on Telegram this month:

I admire how, when babies don’t want to hold something anymore, they just drop it.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.

35 shares on Discord this month:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

53 shares on Threads this month:

If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

According to a recent study, women who are a little overweight live longer than men who mention it.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

That little stroll to the coffee maker makes me happy every morning.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

I will marry a tall, masculine, lovey-dovey man who can’t breathe when I ignore his existence.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

My OnlyFans is just me loading the dishwasher correctly.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Doomscrolling: because who doesn’t love anxiety as a hobby?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Explaining myself is too much work, just judge me.

Making waves on Reddit:

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

Just landed via Telegram:

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

Shared recently on Threads:

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

Just landed via Discord:

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

Spotted on Pinterest:

There is certainly no life on other planets. Otherwise our government would have sent money there long ago.

Freshly posted on Slack:

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The only difference between hungry and horny is where you insert the cucumber.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

Pressure washing is like regular washing but with a lot of yelling and tight deadlines.

I’m only staying up until midnight on New Year’s to watch that bloody year die.

Hosting Thanksgiving? Bring up politics so everyone will leave early.

I’m saving money on rent by moving into an abandoned cobweb.

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨