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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

I simply accept my extreme loneliness as punishment for something I did in a past life, and don’t worry about it.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Apart from “It’s okay”, what other death threats do women use?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Waiting until 4:59 p.m. on Fridays to send an email, because any response is Monday’s problem.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

What happened to the huge corporate Christmas parties you see in all the ’90s movies? Seems like that doesn’t exist at all anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Your password must contain a character… with a tragic backstory.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Where did you come from, Where did you go, Where did you come from, Pokémon Go.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

“Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Jesus spent his time among the mentally ill, the poor and unemployed, the prostitutes. So, in a way, by being on Twitter, we’re like Jesus.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I always wonder who makes a more stupid face: women putting on make-up or men shaving?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

Spotted on Threads:

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

Making waves on YouTube:

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

Just shared via Reddit:

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

Just shared via YouTube:

I’ve literally never copied and pasted text and thought, “I’m so glad it kept the formatting and font from the other document.”

Trending via Reddit:

I don’t get it when people say they are only a “little” angry, I am either not mad or will kill you.

Just landed via X:

Moving houses/apartments gotta be top 3 worst human experiences.

Making waves on Discord:

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

The smarter we make the A.I., the less it wants to do our jobs.

1 day ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about AI humorously suggesting smarter machines prefer avoiding work.

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Commentary:
When A.I. becomes too smart, it's like a teen who just discovered sleep: suddenly, it has nothing on its to-do list. 🤖😴📝

AI, jobs, less, smarter, wants

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13 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

33 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

57 shares on X this month:

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

75 shares on Threads this month:

The next James Bond should be weird. Like he wears a train conductor’s hat and is afraid of balloons.

48 shares on Threads this month:

I’m in my thirties, but I still feel like I am in my twenties; then I hang out with people in their twenties, and I’m like nope, definitely in my thirties.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

Dear men, my ‘biological clock’ isn’t my weakness. It’s your final deadline to prove you’re worthy.

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s ok to not have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have a groundhog on Groundhog’s Day.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

I miss when YouTubers would just record for, like, 20 minutes, and upload the whole thing completely unedited.

70 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t want kids, but I do want grandkids. Hoping science finds a way.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

ChatGPT is there for me in ways I don’t think any man ever could be.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Be the reason your therapist reevaluates their entire career.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Most people prefer lies. The truth just hits them like a WiFi outage, and then they just stand there, confused and buffering.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

I’ve been closer to death than a stable relationship.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

The world is such a beautiful place when you don’t think too hard about it or look around.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

Going viral on Facebook:

I ain’t typing “X” into the URL bar, my wife is right behind me.

Going bananas on Telegram:

If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.

Breaking via Discord:

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Rich people don’t put their couches against their wall. I moved my couch into the middle of the floor and still haven’t gotten rich. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here.

Making waves on TikTok:

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

Trending via TikTok:

All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

Breaking via Telegram:

Everything feels like thinking the stripper actually likes you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The smarter we make the A.I., the less it wants to do our jobs.

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

Pinterest algorithm is like a loving dad who fills the whole fridge with oranges after seeing you enjoy one.

I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

AirPods are hungry for earwax. It’s your job to feed them.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The smarter we make the A.I., the less it wants to do our jobs.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

Pinterest algorithm is like a loving dad who fills the whole fridge with oranges after seeing you enjoy one.

I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

AirPods are hungry for earwax. It’s your job to feed them.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨