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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

I don’t understand my wardrobe. It’s full, but I don’t have clothes.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Every Friday, I’m like, “This weekend I’m getting my life together,” and then… I don’t.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,373

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

Breaking via Discord:

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.

Trending via Discord:

I’ve already picked out my sweatpants for New Year’s Eve.

Making waves on Instagram:

I read somewhere that playing white noise helps you sleep better, but I didn’t find country music helpful at all.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.

Broadcasted on X:

Zara makes clothing for occasions that don’t exist.

Just landed via WeChat:

If I were you, I would rather be me.

Going viral on Facebook:

Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

Making waves on Instagram:

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

The smarter we make the A.I., the less it wants to do our jobs.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When A.I. becomes too smart, it's like a teen who just discovered sleep: suddenly, it has nothing on its to-do list. 🤖😴📝

AI, jobs, less, smarter, wants

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.

2 months ago

balance, being, dating, emotional, emotional balance, emotional support, healthy, humor, key, partnership, relationship, sad, support, taking
“I’ll worry about it next time.” Me pissing off future me.

2 months ago

future, humor, me, next, pissing, problem, procrastination, self, time, worry
76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

2 months ago

back, end, holiday, humor, irony, pardon, statistic, system, Thanksgiving, turkey
My wife has the worst taste in men.

2 months ago

humor, joke, marriage, men, relationship, taste, wife, worst
It really cannot be overstated how many of your problems disappear once you have a beautiful woman who is in love with you.

1 week ago

beautiful, beauty, disappear, humor, love, once, problem, problems, relationship, woman
Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle and explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.

3 months ago

alone, bats, castle, day, Dracula, escape, humor, introvert, live, right, situation, sleep, social, social situation, solitude

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Telegram this month:

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

100 shares on Threads this month:

I’m officially at the age where I enjoy when people cancel plans.

63 shares on Discord this month:

Unlike men, women would immediately admit their mistakes if they had any.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

Sheep to the left of me. Cows to the right. Here I am. Stuck on a bus with a view.

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Angry on the internet” is such an unfortunate personality.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

I always wonder who makes a more stupid face: women putting on make-up or men shaving?

14 shares on Telegram this month:

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

93 shares on Threads this month:

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 8 hours of sleep.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

If buying isn’t owning, then pirating isn’t stealing.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

Just shared via Twitch:

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

Just shared via Telegram:

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

Seen just now on Messenger:

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Trending via Messenger:

I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

Going viral on Reddit:

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The most surprising part of adulthood is parenting your parents.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The smarter we make the A.I., the less it wants to do our jobs.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.

“I’ll worry about it next time.” Me pissing off future me.

76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

My wife has the worst taste in men.

It really cannot be overstated how many of your problems disappear once you have a beautiful woman who is in love with you.

Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle and explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨