Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Wow, sounds like the void needs a good therapist! 👻😂 But hey, at least it's expressing itself, right? Maybe a little scream therapy could do the trick! 😅 #EmoVoid #ScreamQueens

absurdity, existential, humor, irony, me, scream, screams, self-reflection, void

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to flirt today.

2 months ago

flirt, fun, humor, need, promise, relationship, spontaneity, today, tomorrow
The fact it costs $15 to get a basic meal at a fast-food restaurant now is comical.

5 months ago

basic, comical, cost, costs, dining, fact, fast, fast food, food, humor, inflation, meal, price, restaurant
Hey cell phone companies who play smooth jazz hold music hoping I’ll lose interest and give up: yeah, it’s kinda working.

2 months ago

cell, cell phone, company, give, give up, hold, hold music, humor, interest, jazz, lose, music, phone, play, smooth, smooth jazz, working
My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

4 months ago

chores, cleaning, cooking, fantasy, having, humor, man, men, once, relationship, wish
Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

2 months ago

alphabet, clever, clever joke, cut, half, humor, joke, me, politics, vote, wordplay
So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

2 months ago

excel, feel, humor, i, irony, joke, office, once, productivity, spreadsheet, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Facebook this month:

Nobody calls you old more than people 2 years younger than you.

35 shares on X this month:

If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

Each day on Twitter, there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The secret to being able to buy whatever you want is not wanting much.

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

97 shares on Slack this month:

I’d rather throw everything I own in the trash than try to deal with people on Facebook Marketplace.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

“I’m like Sisyphus but with dishes. Dishyphus.”

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

I bought a bag of M&M’s and they don’t have M’s anymore. They all have W’s, for woke.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Don’t put words in my mouth—that’s where the hot dogs go.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

Spotted on TikTok:

I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.

Just shared via X:

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

Just landed via Telegram:

“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

Going viral on Reddit:

The easiest diet is lack of money. You don’t have to do anything.

Trending via YouTube:

Me rereading his texts after we’ve already said goodnight just so I can giggle and blush all over again.

Broadcasted on X:

You ever want someone so bad it pisses you off a little.

Going bananas on Reddit:

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think “What would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The void screams into me.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to flirt today.

The fact it costs $15 to get a basic meal at a fast-food restaurant now is comical.

Hey cell phone companies who play smooth jazz hold music hoping I’ll lose interest and give up: yeah, it’s kinda working.

My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨