Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

My toddler asked if we could go to the zoo today, and I said, “I can’t see that happening.” Then she literally left the room and came back with my glasses.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

You did all that terrible driving just to end up right next to me at the stop light.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Anyone want to fall in love and split rent?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

“NOT dishwasher safe!” You’ll be okay, buddy, just do your best in there.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,591

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Getting a wife is very powerful, because you get a personal psychic that will tell you things like, “Your keys are in the gray pants in the hamper,” and “He will ultimately betray you.”

Breaking via Messenger:

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Just shared via Messenger:

I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Strict parents raise good liars.

Shared recently on Discord:

I have a yearning disability.

Freshly posted on Threads:

If you’re soft, don’t come to my house, cause my kids will roast you.

There comes a time in everyone’s life when you hear the newest slang, and you decide that you don’t care enough to know what it means.

3 hours ago

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Commentary:
Navigating new slang: the ultimate test of whether you're young at heart or just young at bedtime 😂🛌🧐

care, communication, decide, decision, enough, hear, humor, know, life, meaning, means, slang, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

0

2 months ago

direction, every, GPS, hour, humor, i, joke, life, navigation, recalculation, technology, told
Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

0

2 months ago

1, activity, beach, enjoying, enjoyment, fun, fun activity, getting, going, humor, preparation, ready
Not gonna lie, toddlers absolutely nailed it with naps, buttered noodles, and rejecting authority.

0

3 months ago

absolutely, authority, behavior, buttered, buttered noodle, child, child behavior, humor, lie, nap, naps, noodle, noodles, parenting, toddler, toddlers
Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

0

2 months ago

change, curiosity, everyday, everyday life, going, health, hear, hiccup, humor, i, less, life, modern, modern life, never, observation, people, popular
The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

0

2 months ago

bro, context, drink, humor, little, umbrella, unnecessary, wet
I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

0

2 months ago

advice, communication, early, humor, i, irony, just, learning, outcome, professional, sarcasm, say, told, workplace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Telegram this month:

Why can’t the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself.

88 shares on TikTok this month:

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

79 shares on Slack this month:

One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

Later is the best time to do anything.

50 shares on Telegram this month:

On the internet, you can be anything you want. It’s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

Unfortunately, I wasn’t built for casual dating, I’m only built for intense soul crushing love at first sight.

90 shares on Threads this month:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

87 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Everyone’s a gangster until their doorbell rings.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

There will be people in your life that say you have too many books. Those are not your people.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Dating again after you break up with a long-term partner is like dying in a video game and ending up back at the start to do it all again, except with less health.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

People thinking you’re dumb is one of the best advantages you can have.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Maybe the problem is that I’m cooler than any man I’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I can’t believe the gall of this bladder.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Netflix will help you finish spelling the name of the movie you’re looking for, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

WW3: I can’t fire my weapon unless I first watch a 15-second unskippable ad for Raid Shadow Legends.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Gonna waterboard my houseplants so they know who’s the boss.

Making waves on Twitch:

Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

Spotted on Facebook:

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Relationship status: I love my bed.

Just landed via Slack:

I didn’t like my beard at first… then it grew on me.

Just shared via Telegram:

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

Spotted on YouTube:

Not sure what’s longer: a microwave minute or watching a video while someone else is holding the phone, insisting it’s hilarious.

Seen just now on Discord:

If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

There comes a time in everyone’s life when you hear the newest slang, and you decide that you don’t care enough to know what it means.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

Not gonna lie, toddlers absolutely nailed it with naps, buttered noodles, and rejecting authority.

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨