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Commentary:
"Trying to be a responsible adult is like trying to parallel park a tank – ambitious, but ultimately just ends in chaos and a lot of frustrated honking. 🚗😅 #AdultingFail"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Is it stupid and irresponsible? Yes. Will it make me happy? Also yes.

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2 months ago

choice, decision, fun, happy, humor, irresponsible, joy, me, stupid, yes
I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

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2 months ago

abduction, alien, aliens, chores, clean, cleaning, eat, hands, humor, hygiene, i, me, mothership, parenting, room, vegetables, wash
People in their 20s be like, “This is my emotional support master’s degree.”

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2 months ago

20s, adulthood, degree, education, emotional, emotional support, graduate, humor, humor quote, Masters, millennials, people, sarcasm, support
Blocking anyone who tries to motivate me.

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2 months ago

anyone, attitude, blocker, blocking, humor, me, motivation, motivation blocker, sarcasm
Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

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2 months ago

alarm, blast, car, car alarm, everyone, humor, knows, making, name, night, should, sound
If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

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2 months ago

brave, dating, else, feelings, love, relationship, someone, someone else, tell, watch

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Reddit this month:

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

41 shares on WeChat this month:

“You’re like cherry lip gloss. I just can’t get enough.”

25 shares on Messenger this month:

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m not old, I’m vintage.

78 shares on Twitch this month:

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

12 shares on Messenger this month:

Wife bought something on FB Marketplace, but she’s afraid she’ll get kidnapped, so she sends me to pick it up from a guy whose wife sent him because she’s afraid to get kidnapped.

68 shares on Threads this month:

My mother told me there is a girl for me in every corner of the earth, but unfortunately the earth is round.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Marriage is scary, what if he doesn’t want our house to look like my Pinterest board.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

First they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

I’ll be like “I’m fine” then shake my leg at 150 mph.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.

Making waves on Facebook:

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

Just landed via YouTube:

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

Just landed via Threads:

Just blocked all the ugly people, so if you see this… what’s up, big sexy?

Making waves on X:

I’m in a long-distance relationship with the stars.

Going viral on X:

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Biblical loophole: It’s not premarital sex if you never intend to get married.

Making waves on Facebook:

A dating app that matches people by the conspiracy theories they are interested in.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Is it stupid and irresponsible? Yes. Will it make me happy? Also yes.

I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

People in their 20s be like, “This is my emotional support master’s degree.”

Blocking anyone who tries to motivate me.

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨