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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

There’ll be a time someone will convince you to watch Game of Thrones. It is very important that you listen to them and watch.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,800

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

Breaking via Discord:

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Nutrition labels should include an “What if I ate the whole thing” section.

Just landed via TikTok:

If you don’t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?

Going bananas on Threads:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Welcome to your 40s: it’s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.

WhatsApp needs to remove that “this message was deleted” notification. It’s unnecessary drama.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
WhatsApp's drama department is working overtime with those deleted message alerts! 🎭🙄🔍

communication, deleted, deleted message, drama, media, message, needs, notification, social, social media, texting, unnecessary, WhatsApp

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why is experimental noise music always scary metallic noises and never fun sounds like people clapping and laughing and like bubbles and stuff?

3 months ago
always, bubble, clapping, experimental, experimental music, fun, fun sound, laughing, metallic, metallic noise, music, never, noise, noise music, noises, people, scary, scary sound, sound, sounds, stuff, why
Life begins when you can afford it.

1 month ago
adulting, afford, beginning, humor, life, money, perspective
You know what part I love about waking up? None of it. Let me sleep!

2 months ago
humor, i, know, let, love, me, sleep, waking, waking up
I haven’t bought 1 Christmas gift but I got 3 packages on the way for me though.

1 month ago
1, 3, Christmas, gift, holidays, humor, i, me, package, self-care, shopping
Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

1 month ago
big, boy, connection, feel, feeling, i, life, missing, never, relationship, romance, summer, sun
I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

1 month ago
done, humor, i, inform, love, math, regret, relationship, soulmate

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next you sneeze too hard and hurt your neck.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

“You don’t load the dishwasher right,” I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say “hello, please fill out these forms!”

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WeChat:

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

Seen just now on Telegram:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

Shared recently on X:

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Canceled a date for a date with another guy, and that guy canceled. It’s what I deserve.

Freshly posted on X:

Men be like, “Ok, you wanna know the truth,” and lie even harder.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I like winter because I fundamentally understand I deserve to suffer.

Spotted on Twitch:

“Just circling back on this.” – “Take another lap.”

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Activity Log ✨

WhatsApp needs to remove that “this message was deleted” notification. It’s unnecessary drama.

Why is experimental noise music always scary metallic noises and never fun sounds like people clapping and laughing and like bubbles and stuff?

Life begins when you can afford it.

You know what part I love about waking up? None of it. Let me sleep!

I haven’t bought 1 Christmas gift but I got 3 packages on the way for me though.

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

My nickname in high school was “who?”

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

When the salesman from the hearing aid company calls, I stay on the line and answer every question with ‘What?’

I’ve come to the conclusion that my guardian angel is very possessive about me.

All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

Thought getting captured by cannibals would be terrifying, but they’re actually feeding me really well.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.

Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: I don’t. I just need money.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I like when the superheroes that can fly pick up and carry the ones that can’t.

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

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WhatsApp needs to remove that “this message was deleted” notification. It’s unnecessary drama.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Why is experimental noise music always scary metallic noises and never fun sounds like people clapping and laughing and like bubbles and stuff?

Life begins when you can afford it.

You know what part I love about waking up? None of it. Let me sleep!

I haven’t bought 1 Christmas gift but I got 3 packages on the way for me though.

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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