Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Deleting the paragraph you wrote and texting back “ok” is a different type of self-control.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Nothing has improved the quality of my life more than living beyond my means.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Turns out, sitting on the porch, feeding birds and squirrels, is a pretty good treatment for depression.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

The problem with relationships these days is you don’t know if you’re the one being cheated on, or cheated with.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Worst part about job hunting is knowing you don’t want one.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I assume fish have beautiful names for eachother, unpronounceable by human tongues.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,590

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

First rule of cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. Never!

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’m an adult, that’s why I can have Skittles for dinner.

Trending via WeChat:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

Trending via Instagram:

No, sorry, next week won’t work. I’ll be a shadow of what I once was.

Broadcasted on X:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.

You come from dust and you will return to dust. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Dust: the ultimate undercover identity for all your lost treasures 😂🧹 #MysteryDustFriends #CleaningConspiracies"

cleanliness, dust, existential, humor, i, irony, joke, know, life, philosophy, return, someone, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Only DM me if you like disappointment.

0

4 months ago

disappointment, DM, humor, me, media, messaging, only, sarcasm, social, social media
Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

0

2 months ago

attention, being, catering, exactly, fall, family, hack, humor, i, life, life hack, needs, nice, situation, stairs, sure, whole
All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, around, bumper, car, cars, collision, driving, hit, humor, rubber, safety, should
A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this cigarette just now.

0

2 months ago

addiction, cigarette, happening, humor, just, me, peaceful, personal, personal struggle, power, struggle, transition
Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.

0

2 months ago

activity, back, bag, bread, break, break in, funny activity, house, humor, joke, prank, put, toast
Hot wings have killed many people starting with a dude named Icarus.

0

2 months ago

death, dude, food, hot, hot wing, humor, Icarus, irony, joke, killed, people, wing, wings

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Telegram this month:

Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

78 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

84 shares on Facebook this month:

I hate how what would have been a parody is now reality.

39 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

55 shares on X this month:

Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.

43 shares on Threads this month:

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.

57 shares on Threads this month:

Have kids so you can live in a house full of people who can’t find anything.

36 shares on WeChat this month:

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

My car is making strange noises but it’s just me singing.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

I’m having a bad day. Please send super-cute pics of your credit cards to cheer me up.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Commas are like garlic, you measure with your heart.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

No one talks about how uncomfortable it is to ask for your own money back.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Most people prefer lies. The truth just hits them like a WiFi outage, and then they just stand there, confused and buffering.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Ever feel like you’re adulting, but only on the outside? Inside, you’re just a kid hoping someone else will make dinner.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WeChat:

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

Making waves on Slack:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

Just landed via WeChat:

I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

Broadcasted on X:

Sorry I’m late, I was fighting for my right to party.

Making waves on Threads:

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.

Seen just now on Discord:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I try to shoot all of my garbage into outer space, but usually it just lands in my neighbor’s backyard.

Going viral on Twitch:

The first 120 hours after the weekend are always the worst.

Shared recently on Slack:

“I’m at a point in my life where my favorite thing to do is nothing.”

Going bananas on Threads:

Being on a diet isn’t so bad if you don’t follow it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You come from dust and you will return to dust. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Only DM me if you like disappointment.

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this cigarette just now.

Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.

Hot wings have killed many people starting with a dude named Icarus.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨