You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

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I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

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Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

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There’s really nothing as pathetic as watching a sad little man argue with Grok in hopes of manipulating the conversation to get an answer he wants.

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Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

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Taylor Swift is a psyop designed to get my wife to hum little tunes here and there.

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That one British friend that’s too bloke.

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Nobody gives me butterflies anymore. Y’all just give me brain damage.