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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

They’re bluffing when they say you can still get knocked off the nice list this late in the game. Santa’s been delivering gifts in Japan for hours by now; that list is locked. Do whatever you want.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I feel like this holiday season, it’s important to remind people of the true meaning of Christmas: ghosts terrorizing rich people in the middle of the night until they agree to pay their employees more.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

The peace of not knowing.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Living up to your potential sounds exhausting.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but throw away your disgusting dish sponge.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

If I was God, I would’ve equipped women with venom glands.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,697

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

Going viral on Threads:

I hate liars, but what I hate more is when they think I’m an idiot and won’t find out the truth.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Tonight I will make history, by turning off incognito mode.

Just landed via X:

I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

Just landed via Telegram:

Just found out that rock bottom has a basement.

Seen just now on Discord:

I could win awards for having a bad memory. In fact, I probably did. How would I know.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Laying in bed with the nervous system of someone going to war.

Trending via Messenger:

Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

Shared recently on Threads:

The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Soup is great for when you’re hungry but want to still feel hungry afterward.

After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
This is what you call a "ghost text" 👻📱 Thanks for pulling through even from the afterlife 😂

after, coming, everyone, friend, friends, funeral, humor, i, phone, take, text, thanks, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

0

2 months ago

birth, existential, humor, irony, life, mistake, self-deprecation
My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

0

2 months ago

communication, humor, internet, introvert, loneliness, motivation, socialize, socializing, technology, Wi-Fi, wifi, willpower
People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

0

2 months ago

broke, humor, irony, just, lifestyle, minimalist, money, people, think
I love when my brain cells kiss and I have an idea.

0

2 months ago

brain, brain cell, cell, cells, creativity, humor, i, idea, kiss, love, thought
College core: you sit in the class for attendance, then go home and teach yourself.

0

3 months ago

attendance, class, college, core, core class, home, learning, self, self learning, sit, teach, teach yourself, yourself
Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

0

2 months ago

am, day, humor, i, identity, just, laziness, sleepy

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

What happened to the huge corporate Christmas parties you see in all the ’90s movies? Seems like that doesn’t exist at all anymore.

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.

17 shares on Discord this month:

Wow, another wooden ball. Would it kill avocado makers to put a different toy in there?

87 shares on Telegram this month:

Talking to some people is like folding a fitted sheet.

69 shares on Threads this month:

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

I miss when bills were none of my business.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

Girls be like, “I know a spot,” then sacrifice you under the full moon.

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Normalize responding to work emails with: “What the hell are you talking about?”

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Adding “but that’s just me” after giving the absolute worst advice to a coworker.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Isolation, the most goated coping mechanism. I love talking to no one and losing my mind alone.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on X:

I wonder if the scariest moment ever in history has happened yet.

Spotted on Snapchat:

My parents grew to like my girlfriend so much, they take her as their own daughter. Now they started looking for a proper boyfriend for her.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

Going viral on Reddit:

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

I love when my brain cells kiss and I have an idea.

College core: you sit in the class for attendance, then go home and teach yourself.

Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨