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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

“Careful. It’s slippery!” – Everyone, after you’ve already slipped.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Nobody calls you old more than people 2 years younger than you.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I miss when bills were none of my business.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion!

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

After a lot of experience, I can conclude that one can never actually cross “washing dishes” off the to-do list.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,616

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

Seen just now on Slack:

I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

Going viral on Pinterest:

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then you love a boomerang.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

Spreading quickly via X:

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

Just landed via Discord:

My child has entered the “Why?” stage of linguistic development, and I’ve realized I know absolutely nothing.

Going viral on Threads:

The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

Shared recently on Discord:

My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

Just landed via Discord:

Banks: You are broke, so we are going to charge you for being broke.

An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

1 month ago

Humorous quote about mental challenges, playful and witty, comparing thoughts to an escape room.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to find the exit in my mind is like playing hide and seek with a ghost. 😂🧠🚪

challenge, escape, escape room, game, good, humor, just, luck, mental, mental game, mind, room, thought, thoughts

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There is always enough for the needy, there is never enough for the greedy.

3 weeks ago

abundance, always, charity, enough, fairness, generosity, greed, greedy, inequality, need, needy, never, scarcity, selfishness, sharing
People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

4 weeks ago

around, backyard, body, buried, domestic, domestic life, fashion, fun, house, humor, jeans, life, people, wear
I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

3 weeks ago

floor, fortune, hope, humor, i, later, luck, money, optimism, wish
20s: LOL! 30s: OMG! 40s: WTF!

1 month ago

20s, 30s, 40s, aging, generational, humor, laughter, life, life stages, lol, reactions, stages, WTF
4 out 3 people struggle with math.

1 month ago

3, 4, confusion, counting, humor, joke, math, numbers, people, struggle
The problem with salad is, it’s salad.

3 weeks ago

eating, food, healthy, healthy eating, humor, joke, problem, salad

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The 5 seconds in the morning, when I don’t yet know who I am, is the best time of the day.

56 shares on Threads this month:

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

52 shares on YouTube this month:

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

My body is like an elastic band – no matter how I stretch it, it goes back to the nap position.

67 shares on Twitch this month:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

57 shares on Slack this month:

My brain doesn’t sea typos until I’ve already hit send.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

36 shares on YouTube this month:

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

25 shares on Twitch this month:

Really love how dancing alone in your room can literally save your life.

62 shares on Threads this month:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m writing a parenting book called ‘Kids won’t listen until you scream like your mother did’.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Dude so boring, it’s like his personality swiped left on him.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m not even doomscrolling anymore; I’m just regular scrolling, and everything’s doomed.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

It’s so cool when people who write for a living admit that they don’t read books or have thoughts.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Good morning. Does anyone know what is right and what is wrong?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!

Shared recently on X:

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

Just shared via X:

If you ever see me running, it’s either away from my problems or towards an ice cream van.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Soccer: I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new, beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty, sweaty, ruined one.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

Going viral on Discord:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely responded to my telepathic messages.

Making waves on WeChat:

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

Just landed via Slack:

Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

Just landed via Threads:

Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

Keep the laugh going 😂

There is always enough for the needy, there is never enough for the greedy.

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

20s: LOL! 30s: OMG! 40s: WTF!

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

The problem with salad is, it’s salad.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨