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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

What many call beauty can just be wiped off 90% of the time.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock. We all know that communication is the key.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

When a lady compliments your facial hair, have the goddamn decency to compliment hers.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

779 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,941

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,941

8 minutes ago

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

Breaking via X:

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

Going viral on X:

I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”

Just landed via Messenger:

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

Just landed via YouTube:

I am calling on public libraries to ban the books that I borrowed and lost. We don’t need that kind of crap in the libraries.

Reported on YouTube:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

Reported on Discord:

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

Spotted on Twitch:

At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

Just shared via YouTube:

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

Arkansas is just Kansas for pirates.

6 months ago

Arkansas is just Kansas for pirates.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ahoy mateys! Arkansas be Kansas' rebellious alter ego, plundering its way across the high seas of the United States 🏴‍☠️⚓️ Who needs a treasure map when ye have a GPS set for fun times and Southern charm? Avast ye landlubbers, and welcome to the swashbuckling state of Arkansas-arrrr!"

Arkansas, comparison, funny comparison, geography, humor, just, Kansas, pirates, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share → : “Just circling back on this.” – “Take another lap.”
3 months ago
Share → : Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.
6 months ago
Share → : Just got my steps in by avoiding someone I know.
3 days ago
Share → : Show me another rule so I can break that one too.
6 months ago
Share → : Be the horrifying lore of your family’s lineage.
5 months ago
Share → : I eat posts like yours for breakfast.
6 months ago
Share → : You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.
2 weeks ago
Share → : Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

779 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,941

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,941

8 minutes ago

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Thought I was a minimalist, turns out I’m just broke.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I giggle before I go crazy. Gotta start my engine.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

Freshly posted on X:

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

Just shared via TikTok:

I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

Live now on Discord:

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

Reported on Discord:

Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

Just landed via Discord:

If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

Going viral on Twitch:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

Just landed via Reddit:

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.

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