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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

We don’t get a song of the summer this year because we were bad.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

If your name is “Guy”, you have lazy parents.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

So much anger in this small little body. I feel like a chihuahua.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

“Damn, you’re tight!” I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

No, you’re not a “prompt engineer,” you’re a sloperator.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Being strange is exhausting.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

It’s funny how sometimes you buy a book, then read it in two days, and sometimes you buy a book, and it lives on your bookshelf for 12 years.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,581

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Making waves on YouTube:

The second half of your life begins when you stop wanting to get even and start wanting to get odd.

Live now on Slack:

Just call me Mother Nature because I can go from hot to cold in a 24-hour period, too.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

Trending via Reddit:

How do I get my glasses prescription placed in my windshield?

Trending via TikTok:

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

Trending via Twitch:

Sex is cool and all, but have you ever tried obsessing over a mediocre person who’s just not that into you.

Seen just now on X:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Spotted on Slack:

The ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ totally is.

Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote highlighting millennials paying Apple for cloud storage to save their digital lives.

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Commentary:
If only my life decisions were as backed up as my photos! 📸💾

apple, cloud, cloud storage, data, delete, digital, digital life, every, humor, just, life, millennial, monthly, monthly payment, paying, payment, storage, subscription, technology

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Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on WeChat this month:

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

People who don’t have a dishwasher, where do they bang their shins?

38 shares on Twitch this month:

I live in constant fear that some douchebag is going to show up to a bonfire with a guitar.

24 shares on Threads this month:

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

I really miss my family… sized bag of crisps.

70 shares on WeChat this month:

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

23 shares on Slack this month:

I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? Disgusting.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

Isn’t your email address beautifulgirl@mydreams.com?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

The problem with salad is, it’s salad.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Maybe dogs are smarter than us because they found a way to get fed and housed without having to go to college and get a job.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Haven’t seen a single bikini photoshoot in the snow this year; the girls are tired.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Having sex with the same person gets freakier and nastier each time.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

I used to have a great future in my past.

Just shared via X:

Be the spooky thing in the woods that you wish to see in the world.

Spotted on Facebook:

Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Love low-hanging fruit. Easiest kind to obtain, in my opinion.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

Just shared via TikTok:

Simplicity is so complicated.

Making waves on Slack:

I personally feel like I have what it takes to become a fossil.

Spotted on Slack:

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

If your girlfriend doesn’t go a little psycho on you from time to time, then she’s not in love with you, sweetie.

Just shared via Telegram:

Job hunting has legitimately been the most demoralizing experience of my life. Nothing else will make you realize how little you can actually do.

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Activity Log ✨

Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Have you guys heard of recency bias? I hadn’t, but now I’m seeing it literally everywhere. Must be a big deal.

Might start a YouTube channel “will it hurt if I drop it on my foot”.

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

Keep the laugh going 😂

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Have you guys heard of recency bias? I hadn’t, but now I’m seeing it literally everywhere. Must be a big deal.

Might start a YouTube channel “will it hurt if I drop it on my foot”.

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

First date idea: we deactivate your Instagram.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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